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What to do with an angry 9 yr old boy?

My son is 9 years old and has never learned to play by himself. He is always bored and if we don't do something with him or make his sister play with him he goes into these rages. He thinks that someone should always be there to entertain him or do what he wants. Always thinks he should have a friend over or that he should get to do to a friends. If I tell him to go ride his bike, shoot hoops, or suggest anything that could be done alone it is stupid & I should quit telling him what to do. I am afraid this could be a really bad summer for us.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on May. 31, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Put him to work !!! I have 5 kids and 3 of them are teens. I have noticed we are raising a generation who thinks every thing should be handed to them on a silver platter or they should be entertained all the time! Our kids are growing up with a sense of entitlement and do not know how to work. Sports are fine but this does not teach them life skills or how to raise a family. Give them chores like cleaning there rooms, planting a garden, learning how to do their own laundry Etc...Teach them how to work not just pointing them to what needs to be done. We are raising a spoiled generation of kids. I have had to learn this the hard way with my first two. They were alway being entertained or I always had something for them to do. It was sports, Dance, summer camps, T.V., I organized play dates. They had cell phones and computers etc.. If I could do it again I would spend more time teaching them the value of work.

    Answer by michelle146 at 7:01 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Welcome to puberty! How about summer camp?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:30 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Why haven't you gotten him involved in structured team sports? That's the way I (an only child) made all of my friends! We always had something in common, and when we got together, we would play all kinds of "pick up games" which would extend into the off season and summers.

    What about summer day camp? Your local Y and/or community centers often have relatively inexpensive programs running--and they offer "scholarships" for low-income families.

    Boys this age need structure. Ask him what he would like to do MOST, and see if you can find a program that he would enjoy.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 5:31 PM on May. 31, 2010


    Answer by allison178 at 5:46 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I would suggest maybe to try getting him involved in activities where there are other children his age. Baseball would be great. Keeping him active with any type of sports would help with his being bored. Hopefully then he would not mind some alone time. Hope this helps.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 7:07 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I agree that a group/team sport (with other boys his age), would help him connect with others at his own pace. I have a feeling that if you assign him chores - you will be met with an "angrier" boy! Once he understands what it is like to work as a team with others, he can start to work on chores - as a family with you. If you still notice his anger issues after the summer; you may think about speaking to a counselor -through your pediatrician. (Just to rule out any physical or emotions issues he may have; but can't express.) Good luck on you journey!


    Answer by Bostonsbest at 7:11 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I have a boy who is into baseball too. After the two hour game two times a week what then? Do you think he is magically going to come home and behave? Sports may be fun and teach some team work but I think in todays time we rely to much on coaches, teachers and counselors to raise our kids when we should be the number one coaches in our kids lives. I have seen a huge turn around in my kids grades and what they excel at since I started Teaching them more responsibility when it came to work. My ten year old was angry when I started teaching him at first but now he gets great grades, plays sports, and can easily play by himself or with others or just read without asking me what he should be doing all the time. Oh and by the way my two teens did graduate with high honors after I made a few changes in the way I was parenting...

    Answer by michelle146 at 7:28 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • he should have chores like mowing the lawn.. also a sport that he likes is a good idea.. if you have space buy a punching bag so when he is mad he can punch the bag.. don't make his sister play with him just encourage her to

    Answer by maiahlynn at 8:19 PM on May. 31, 2010