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Should I?

I recently seperated from my husband and heard my first love from a long time ago. problem is my soon to be ex husband despises him and doesnt want our daughter around him. Do i take a chance to see him again. its not that hes a bad guy, he just knows how i feel about it and doesnt like it. so do i risk him of him being angry or do i take a chance at getting back what i let get away?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on May. 31, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • If your marriage is over then I wouldn't give a flip what my soon to be x wanted. You could always see the guy when stbx has your child.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:12 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Do the right thing for your kids, wait. You are just getting divorced, so now you are going to take them away from daddy and throw a new guy right in. That will do something terrible to them. Forget about how your husband will feel about it, think about your kids and do the right thing for them. Be single for a year then see how you feel from there. Dont make your children hate you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Do you want the possibility of a real relationship with the new guy or just a quick rebound relationship? Let your life calm down and get back to a relative normal as well as give your kids a chance to figure out how things are going to be. Your first responsibility is to them, not just to yourself. Tell the guy to wait a while, at least a year, I'd think, and then get back in touch.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 5:59 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • our daughter is very young yet, she wouldnt understand at this young age

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • If your not divorced you best not see anyone. I would NEVER jeopardize the custody over my kids for a man.  Dont do anything that he could use against you.


    Personally I wouldnt even date for quiet some time... the kids lives were just ripped apart at the seems they need to know that someone is stable.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • i agree with the above moms. you're still going through a divorce. cool your jets for awhile. it's going to be hard for your children to adjust to not having their father around everyday. if you bring someone new into their life it's going to be confusing and painful. my mother did that numerous times. now i have no relationship with her. wonder why.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 6:12 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • you JUST seperated. Give yourself some time. Goodness. everyone is in such a hurry to be with someone else. its crazy

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • i agree with anon 6:26. slow down. take some time to adjust to the single life with your kis. if the guy really wants you, he will wait for you. geez....

    Answer by 3xangel at 6:33 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Yeah, I say wait. You can't lose with waiting. If the guy is a winner, he'll respect you and your child and be willing to wait for you. If he's impatient to get something going, he's being selfish. This is a good litmus test for him.

    Answer by Adelicious at 6:50 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • sometimes other people see things we do not because our love blinds us. why did you break up with this first love? could there be a good reason why your soon to be ex doesn't want him around the kids.. I think it is fair for the father of your children to have a say in who is around then to an extent. If you know this man well and trust him to be around your kids then you should be able to talk about it with your soon to be ex. Like the other ladies said, wait till the divorce,.. Also, I am a firm believer that ex's are ex's for a reason. do not look at your first love with rose colored glasses, let him prove himself before you let him close to your kids and your heart. high school love and infatuation is very different then long term married love. I think when you have children you must dig extra deep before letting people into your life, think about what is best for them. especially when daddy just left! take time and heal

    Answer by TaiM at 8:38 PM on May. 31, 2010