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Who is over reacting, me or him?

My ex-husband took our two girls, ages 5 and 4, to his parents this afternoon for a cook out. Now my 5 year old had a cough for a couple days and a belly ache last night but my 4 year old has been fine and she was fine this morning. They left with their dad around 11:30 to go to their grandparents with him and his girlfriend (who the girls do not like, they say she yells too much). About 15 minutes ago I get a text from my ex saying my 4 year old has been sleeping all afternoon, unable to stay awake and just puked on herself. I suggested it may have been the heat. He wants to keep her at his place tonight and said he'd take her to the ER if she didn't get any better. I told him she is a mommy's girl and will feel better if she is with me and I live no further from the hospital than he does. He told me I always give him a hard time, I tried explaining that I want to see her and I would need to be there if she went to the...

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:53 PM on May. 31, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I think you are overreacting.
    His their father, im sure he knows how to handle a situation, and you should give him the opportunity to do so. Maybe if you let her be around him in desperate times of need, she would be a daddys girl as WELL as a mommys girl.

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 5:55 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I think you need to let him deal with it. It will be good for your daughter to know daddy can take care of her too. This is what happens with divorce, so you just have to deal with it, you can take care of her when it is your turn.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • He got all pissy and told me he was tired of going back and forth with me and that the kids had to be comfortable with him to and that he is their dad then must have gotten more pissed because he ended his little text rant by saying he'd bring them both home because I always have to have my way! I wasn't saying saying he couldn't keep our 4 year old for one night, I just wanted to see her for myself to see how sick she is and that if she went to the hospital I wanted to be there too. I don't think I was being unreasonable. He sent a final text saying he still wasn't bringing them home for another hour or two and how our DD is passed out and will be up all night since she'd already been sleeping for 3 hours! I didn't respond and he sent it again, a total of 4 times, until I finally hit reply and wrote 'OK'.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • who ever was suposed to have her tonight gets her.

    divorce is hard.... this is only the first of many many many issues like this. Best to work it out nicely and take deep breaths... you will be dealing with this for the rest of your life.

    luck... im sure she will be fine. I can not imagine why one little bought of vomit would send a child to the er.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • ...I'm fine with him handling a situation but he can't expect me to not freak out a little when she has been fine, I can't even remember the last time she had a cold, or even a belly ache and all of a sudden she's lethargic and vomitting. I've also never stopped him from spending time with either child, he's the one who says he wants them every weekend and then doesn't show up or even call to say he isn't coming.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • when a child gets sick, naturally they ARE tired. she threw up and is sleeping. doesnt mean she MUST go to the ER....thats a little bit dramatic. i understand where you are coming from its your baby, but its his too. And it is hard in a divorce, but it is HIS time with them. As hard as that may be to realize.

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 6:04 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I think it's great that he wants to care for her while she's ill. Most guys would dump them and leave. Let him have a chance to be there for her since you are probably always with her during other illnesses.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:08 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • i'd say you're overreacting. at least he's concerned enough about her being sick. some dads won't see their children. let own care for them when they're ill. since she's staying with her dad if she gets worse he should take her to the hospital. if she got really ill then it'd be kind of stupid for her to come to you then go to the hospital. when she can just go straight to the hospital since she's with her dad.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 6:09 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • As a mommy, I TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY understand you wanting to be with your baby when she's sick! I would have a VERY hard time being away from my baby if he was sick....

    Having said that, I think I have to agree with the PPs who said it's his baby and you need to trust him with his kids (unless there's a specific reason not to trust him). As for his reaction, I'm guessing there's history. If I knew the whole situation I might say your ex is an a$$ and I don't blame you for wanting your DD home, or I might say, "Chill, mama, give him a chance." I don't know....

    Answer by Adelicious at 6:47 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Just another thought... if he IS a good daddy and dependable, you wouldn't want to damage your girls' confidence in him by taking them from him every time something goes wrong. That could affect their relationship with him for the rest of their lives.

    Answer by Adelicious at 6:49 PM on May. 31, 2010

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