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How do you discipline a SD that is mean to her sisters when DH and BM won't step in?

I love my 3 SD's, but the 16 year old is a real witch to her sisters. She says snide comments and has openly announced that she is better than everyone, especially her sisters. I can't stand it! The girls don't live with us, so she must be allowed to get away with this behavior at BM's. It's awful. She even insulted DH's mother in just a low enough voice that grandma couldn't hear her. Grandma would do anything for her and to be disrespected like that is flat rude. Her sisters are 13 and live in constant frustration. They tiptoe around the oldest. My husband won't say anything to her and gets mad at me for pointing it out. I don't know what to do and if I can't get him to agree to a discipline plan for the 5 weeks they are here this summer, I may not let the oldest come. I have never done anything that extreme and I don't want to, but I can't bite my tongue anymore. Please help!

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Asked by DocKrys at 7:27 PM on May. 31, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (4)
  • Then, don't bite your tongue. Tell her how you feel about her behavior. You cans say, " I love you, but that is just plain rude. You love your sisters now be nice!" You can then proceded to tell her if she doesn't want to be nice or doesn't have anything nice to say, then she needs to go be by herself because nobody wants to be around or listen to that nonsense. She can be mean and ugly all she wants by herself in her own privacy.

    Answer by lowencope at 7:31 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • I agree, if you let her into your home you have to lay down the law. But if you think that would result in problems between your DH and you, I would consider not having her over -- but be clear with her or her parents about why.

    Answer by Nynne at 8:12 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • If you don't allow her to come then you have lost your opportunity to guide her since no one else thinks she's worth getting back on track. You have leverage too since you can always tell her to go home if you can't guide her into acting like a normal person. She acts like this bc she's insecure. She says things like she's better than others bc she thinks she is NOT as good as others and just needs to hear the words to make herself feel better. If you remain calm and keep an open mind then you can transform her into a respectful human by Fall. Just accept the challenge. You may be all she has when it comes to teaching someone how to act. You can do this. You care or you wouldn't have posted this question and caring is enough to give it a shot!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:22 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Lay down the law.

    Answer by sstepph at 4:41 PM on Sep. 17, 2010

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