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Is it wrong to want "Me" time?

I want to start off by saying I'm a very dedicated and loving mother. I gave up my career, friendships,and a social life I never had to be a mother. My daughter is a severe asthmatic and I know a lotta ppl say that but I mean Im in the hospital at least twice a month every month for 4-5 day hospital stays. My husband is there with us sometimes and he is very supportive, sometimes I feel bad because I wish I could go home and sleep 8 hours and come back. My mom lives in the same town as us but never offers. I know I need to take care of me in order to keep taking care of her but I dont wanna let my krissy down. I feel really overwhelmed she is my only child and I love her to pieces but I need a reprieve....Am I being selfish?

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CarlysCorner

Asked by CarlysCorner at 8:15 PM on May. 31, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • No, you're not being selfish. I'd ask mom if she'd take the kiddo for a day so you could have some time to yourself. Being a mom is hard and with a kid that has health problems, that's really stressful. You need a day to relax or you'll start getting sick from over stressing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • definitely not! After ds has surgeries I feel the need to have me tome or else I get these major headaches n depressed. Last time I felt my mouth go numb! U need to have a breather and refesh urself to take better care of ur daughter. Don't feel guilty about it.
    Vero0724

    Answer by Vero0724 at 8:20 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Also, speak to the social worker at the hospital. You might be eligible for a respite program....and I do NOT mean leave your child and go away, I mean, spend a day at a spa while she's healthy and recharge yourself.

    Hugs to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • Your daughter needs you at the hospital. 4-5 days in the hospital isn't very long. I have 3 children with asthma, immune deficiencies and other medical issues and I know how much kids need you at the hospital. She shouldn't have to be in the hospital that much for asthma. My kids have the worst asthma you can have. If you haven't been to a major children's hospital that would be a very good idea. She should be evaluated by an allergist for allergies and immune deficiencies.


    You don't have to give up having friends and a social life to be a good mother. Your friendships may change and you may have a different kind of social life. It's good to be around other mothers, effective mothers that can be role models.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 8:40 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • No, it's not wrong. That is a lot of time to spend at a hospital. See if you can find someone to rotate with. Your daughter needs you, but she also needs you sane. That much hospital time can be stressful to anyone. I spent a good part of my life in the hospital. Either because I was in it or my mother was in it. It is very taxing on a person. Just know your limits and don't be afraid to ask for help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on May. 31, 2010

  • No, for sure it's not wrong... and it's NEEDED! You need time to yourself even if it's just for a little while.

    As for you child's asthma, I think you need to find a different doctor and a better action plan. She should for sure NOT be hospitalized as often as that. If she is that uncontrolled it's really dangerous!!! I would find someone to get her on better preventative medications and investigate her triggers further. And make sure you are following her action plan to the T.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 12:58 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Thank everyone for their answers and I have been to 2 different immunology specialist and she is under the care of a pulmonologist. To answer the inquiries about my search for the best medical team, I have had her evaluated under the best pediatricians and pulmonologist in my region. I have an appointment scheduled for her to fly to a hospital in California to get a 4th opinion as soon as she is stable and well enough for a time period to be safe in the air.
    CarlysCorner

    Answer by CarlysCorner at 1:29 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

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