Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

So should I help my husband?

So my husband has lied to me about his financial situation without telling me. Most of it was prior to us getting married. He he has over 150,000 dollars in debt. He hid this all from me. He has allowed his kids to mistreat me and yelled at me because he claims I don't make enough. That really hurts my feelings because I make a decent salary. I have paid his alimony, his child support and several of his bills because he stopped brining home a check because of commission issues. I have floated the ship for several months now solo. He is facing jail time because he forged his children's names on loans and is behind in child support. He wants me to couch up 2000.00 in two weeks to keep him out of jail. But If I do this we will be hurting to pay the bills and mortgage. I am so upset for all his deception, porn and rudeness. What would you do? Some of the money I have is his but I need to pay bills.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jun. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • Uhm, I would leave him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Jun. 1, 2010


    I don't often write in all caps. But this is serious. Get out of this alleged marriage. See a lawyer who will help you get off the hook for the debts he brought to the marriage. Get the helll out. He only sees a paycheck in you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:42 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • i would kick his rear out of the house !! u deserve better sweetie , dont u forget that !!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • And LET him go to jail. It'll keep him from preying on some other poor unsuspecting woman.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:42 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Run screaming.

    Answer by kuriequinn at 10:43 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • sorry to say but u really are naive for putting up with him ! i hope u dont have any children with him. if not then there still is an escape route. get out of this marriage as fast as u can ! he's using AND abusing u ! its absurd... !!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • I agree with gdiamante, get a good lawyer!!! Cripes!! That is horrible! You need to let him go to jail as well, you need to run your household and he isn't helping!! I wish you luck! and know that you will find someone who treats you like a goddess, i just did.

    Answer by queentokemi at 10:47 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • You and your kids shouldn't have to suffer just because he made terrible choices in his past.
    You've dealt with enough of his bullshit. If it were me, I would leave him and LET him go to jail. How can he not appreciate that you're the one running the ship now, and managing very well, even taking care of his OWN mistakes, and complain you're not making enough? Yeah, no.

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 10:47 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • I don't think you should bail him out. If he is ever to grow up and become accountable for his own actions, he must suffer the consequences of those actions. People like your husband get that way because everything that happens to them is always the fault of someone else added to the fact that they are very adept at convincing others they should "help them out" of the jamb they have created for themselves. Let him go to jail if that is how this plays out. If he learns from it, that will be great. If he doesn't and chooses to continue in his reckless ways, I would re-evaluate then. You don't need to do or say anything except that you have chosen not to help him this time. If you care to state the reasons, that will be fine. If you choose not to, that's okay, too.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:50 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • He has been using you to pay his way long enough.


    Answer by Gailll at 10:53 AM on Jun. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.