Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I feel like my sister is being SO SELFISH but also that I am being a little selfish too. She is getting married.....

in August. It is pretty last minute seeing as they had set a date for Sept. 2011, and decided in March to do it this August. I am her Maid of Honor and she also has her best friend being her Matron of Honor, and my DD her flowergirl. Well, its all fine and dandy, but I'm spending $200 on my DD's dress, $200 on my dress, plus $400 for us to go and stay out of town (the wedding is FIVE HOURS AWAY). Well, on top of the $800 I am already forced to spending, now she wants me to throw her a bachelorette party and a bridal shower, which of course is up to me to pay for. Her "best friend" is pregnant with her second and "can't afford" to help. Well, I'm a single mom, working my butt off, paying out of my pocket to go to school, and quite frankly cannot afford all of this.. I don't want to tell my sister she is being Bridezilla, or deprive her of these events.. but I really just cannot afford it. What should I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:54 PM on Jun. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Oh that does suck! I am a single mom too and that would put me so far back. Can your parents help with anything at all? Have her showers at someones house. Ask everyone to chip in for a stripper or something. lol,,what? Thats what my friends put me through. Everybody ran in the kitchen by the way and left me with the stripper. Really, just keep the parties low key. Go out to a night club for the bachelorette party and have the shower at someones house. Have snacky foods and goofy games.UGH,,Bridezella would drive me nuts!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Honestly, I'd tell her that I can't afford it and if she complains ask her where should you pull the money out of.
    kuriequinn

    Answer by kuriequinn at 5:03 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • When my brother got married, his bride's sisters, who COULD afford to do more, threw her bachelorette party. It consisted of everyone meeting at a steakhouse, paying for their own food & drinks, then going back to the bride's house for games, gifts, and daiquiries (cheap mix, ice, cheap booze). They put nothing into it. You could at least get together with the other MOH and do something simple like that, it doesn't need to be a huge expensive party.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Can you parents or his parents help?
    Maybe the other people in the bridal party can pitch in to help offset the costs..
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 5:09 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Tell the truth you jst cant afford to do it you maybe able to help pay for somethings but you cant afford to do it all on your own.
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 5:13 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • I'd say I want to do this for you and make it special, but I really can't afford what you deserve. Ask any relatives you can think of to help with the showers and bachelorette party, and if you don't have any who will/can halp ask your sister if her fiance has any relatives that might pitch in or if your sister has other friends who might be able to help. She may be so deep into it that she doesn't realize what she is actually asking you to do. She also may not understand how tight your budget really is, so let her know that it's too much for you to do alone before it's too late for someone else to pitch in. I'm sure your sister doesn't expect you to spend more money than you have to spend, but you really have to let her know what you can do. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Have everyone meet out somewhere for the Bachelorette Party and they can pay for their own food and drinks. You can't have her Bridal shower if you live that far away from her. She can find someone else for that since she's hooked you for all the rest.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:43 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Technically, family members aren't supposed to throw the bridal shower. Her friends are supposed to do that. And you can make that a potluck at your home. That keeps the cost down.

    As to a bachelorette party...well, I didn't have one. You could do a pub crawl where everyone pitches in to cover the bride's cost but pays their own way as well.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:56 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • By the way..it's not depriving her.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:56 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN