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A very hard subject

So I've been with my man for 3 years now, when we first got together I was in the middle of a pap smear and waiting for the results, they told me that if I had anything they would call by friday, well i did not receive a call and that weekend I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend for the first time! Well you can all guess what happened next, I got a call on Monday from the doc and he told me I had genital warts. Well its 2 and a half years later and I have never had enough courage to tell him, i think about it everyday and the stress alone from it sometimes feels like i'm slowly dying and I don't know what to do, because I know if I tell him he will leave me for sure. I have never told anyone until now, it is a deep secret that I keep. I very rarely have an outbreak but its still there and won't ever go away. Will someone please give me some decent advice as of what to do because I really am lost here.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Jun. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • You NEED to tell him and deal with the consequences before he comes down with it himself. He WILL find out, one way or another.

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:04 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • um. you are going through a lot, but imagine if it was him who had it and he waited TWO years to tell YOU! you need to tell him asap... you have waited LONG ENOUGH

    Answer by honeybee429 at 9:05 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Its going to be hard..really hard Im sure but you have to tell him. If it were you then you would want to know! GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Why do you think he would leave you? I would hope he is not that shallow of a person. I cant imagine how hard this must be for you to keep this a secret from him for all this time. I know it will be so difficult, but you need to come clean with him and tell him whats going on. Go back to your doctor and get all the facts you can about it first so you are armed with facts and a full knowledge of what you have and what meds can help. Sometimes we make bigger mountains out of mole hills. Sounds like you have been miserable keeping this to yourself for such a long time. If you had cancer, would you keep that from him too or would you lean on him for support? What you have is not your fault, stuff happens in life. Big great gentle hugs and good luck hon

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • wouldnt you want to know? i mean seriously. there's this girl in my town who sleeps with anyone and everyone without protection, she knows she has genital warts,clamydia and gonerehrre(sp?) and yet still doesnt tell anyone...dont be like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • Listen.I had undiagnosed herpes for 2 years before it came down to I HAD to tell my SO.I didn't plan to wait so long. As matter of fact, I held off on having sex with him for 6 months while we dated because I was trying to figure out a way to tell him, but I never could.The words just wouldn't come.I even wrote it down once and thought I would just hand him the peice of paper.The paper stayed in my pocket.I finally HAD to tell him because I was pregnant, it was at the end of the pregnancy, due any day and I had a bad outbreak, I went to doctor,finally got a medical diagnosis for it and ended up having to have a c-section because I couldnt give birth during an outbreak.So, I went up to our bedroom,he was downstairs and I txtd him on the cellphone telling him.He didnt believe me, he thought I was kidding.When I started apologizing he knew I wasnt.After that, we never talked about it again.That was 2 yrs ago.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • I'm sorry hun that's hard. YOu have to tell him.

    Answer by lowencope at 9:18 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • He may be more supportive than you think. When I met my DH, I didn't know I had an std. We were having protected sex, but I had no idea that my ex had given me chlamydia. I found out when I went to have an exam to get on birth control again. I was really nervous about telling him, but I did and he was really okay with it. Of course chlamydia is treatable....but still, I think if he really truly loves you, he will understand. But you should be prepared for him to be upset that you waited this long to tell him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • I has asymptomatic herpes, my husband and I got married without dating (sounds crazy, but we were best friends, and we've been married 2 years) and I had no clue other than an abnormal pap smear. When I went in I had a colposcopy, and my results showed I had herpes. My husband has it also, but it just happens. Things happen. I'm not sure how long I've had herpes, but you can get through it. Honesty is best, and if he leaves, then you can do better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

  • You may have already given the disease to him. He should be tested!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jun. 1, 2010

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