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I feel like a bad mother.

I can't take it anymore... I feel like I am not ready to be a mom. I love my baby, but he is driving me crazy... I never expected it to be this hard... sometimes I just feel like leaving and never coming back... but then I would miss him too much... I don't know why Im feeling this way. I think I have PPD...

Today he was crying and after hearing him fuss ALL DAY I just told my husband I didn't know what to do anymore, and I just left for a walk for an hour. I just don't know what to do... I feel like a horrible mother for feeling this way...

Any advice? Please don't bash, I really am feeling horrible, I don't need to feel worse.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Jun. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • Postpartum depression comes to mind. You should consult with your doctor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • You sound like me with my first. I had PPD. Go talk to your doctor. Don't feel bad. It is hard and its not your fault. The fact that you are recognizing it is good though.

    Answer by MizAnn at 12:04 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I had PPD, and it doesn't make you a bad person to have your hormones acting weird.

    I agree, talk with your doctor to see if you do have a clinical level of PPD.

    Also, go easy on yourself, even moms without a trace of PPD need "sanity breaks" from their babies. It's not all cute toes and snuggles...sometimes we need that walk and alone time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • A brand new baby can be so overwhelming. Your body trying to heal from giving birth and all the hormone changes that come with that. The loss of sleep, beyond anything you can imagine until you become a parent. Add to that ppd and no wonder you are feeling so overwhelmed. So many of us have had it, Just need to learn what to do for it. good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I agree, it sounds like possible PPD. I dreaded becoming a mom because I thought it was sooooooo hard from all the personal stories on television shows I watched while prego. But now my son is almost 2 and I don't get all the complaints, it is the easiest and most rewarding job ever and I don't have to leave the house to do it (bonus!!)!!!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:34 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Yes, you should talk with your Doctor daughter felt that way after she had her twins and she was given a prescription for a mood elevating pill. It made a big difference and she felt so much happier. Having a baby is tiring and stressful and everyone makes it so hard by thinking they have to be perfect. It WILL get better! Good luck.

    Answer by gertie41 at 12:40 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Does he nurse? if so, let him nurse whenever he needs to/ wants to. If he likes the swing, let him swing. Mine liked being held, and would stop crying if I put him in the swing with the vaccum on!

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:57 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • talk to a doc now...don't wait...this is serious, but not abnormal

    Answer by luvinher at 1:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • First, talk to your doctor. I went through the same thing with my two. Take it slow. What I was told to do is if the baby is driving you to the brink, try lightly bouncing and patting him as you walk, if that don't work, try swaddling, if that don't work and he's not hungry, wet, or couliky(spelling, I know), then set the baby in his crib or somewhere where he won't get hurt and where he is within earshot, walk out of the room and count to 10. Calm down then try again. New babies are frustrating, but it does get better. Just wait till he can talk. The mouth will never stop. I have a 6 and 4 year old know it alls. But, you are not a bad mommy. It just takes time to get used to the new little person. Again, talk to your doctor. That's the best advice you can take.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Yes, you may have ppd and you should talk to someone. But, I also want to acknowledge that there is a reason for the way you are feeling. Historically, women were not completely alone with their babies and experiencing a newborn for the first time. They had seen and helped to raise babies the whole time growing up and by the time they had their first, there were aunts, grandmas, moms, nieces, etc all available to help. In addition, the fussiness we know now probably was a lot less because babies were in slings or pouches at the breast. If you look into a good baby carrier ( then a lot of your babies' fussiness may be quelled. Also, white noise (like from the vacuum) often helps. You need help, not just from a doctor but also from friends and family members. BTW, don't coop yourself up. Take the baby with you for a walk before it gets that bad, maybe you and baby will be refreshed.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:42 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

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