Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it unethical to "friend" old boyfriends on Facebook?

I sent an old boyfriend a message. I am happily married with two small kids. I guess I'm just curious. Now I feel really bad about it. I have ABSOLUTELY no feelings for him. It's just curiosity. But he did dump me and I feel I have a score to settle...like to show him how awesome I'm doing. The thought of attempting to bring him back into my life makes me feel bad. Just curious if you've had similar experiences?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jun. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • unethical? no, I would not say so! I have done the same.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:15 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Oh geez, I dont know about Facebook, but I am single and recently got back together with an old flame who dumped me. We dated 20 yrs ago. I have been married, divorced I have two kids It just wasnt the same for me this time around. I dont think I was looking to settle a score with him, I just am not the same person I was way back when. Be careful anyway
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Nah, it;s harmless. If you two can be friends, then great.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:46 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I do not think it is unethical...but I did just do the same thing so maybe Im defending myself here. I never told my husband and I still feel bad for it but I think I did it more to feel like I have a private life. I think so much is shared during a marriage that sometimes reaching out is only to feel like your still that young, fun, risky girl you were. I also felt like I needed to do I cyber punch to him... just to show him how wonderful my life turned out. Without him in it. I think its normal and yes it may be a little risky and stupid but it happens.
    AsheRy868

    Answer by AsheRy868 at 1:00 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I think the only principle would be, if you wouldn't mind your husband witnessing everything on FB, than it's harmless.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:42 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I did the same thing, I have 3 ex boyfriends on FB, but I told my hubby before accepting friend invites. (they invited me). I also felt like I wanted to show them how awesome I am doing now, I am glad to know that I am not the only one who does this!! LOL As long as hubby has no problem with it then I don't see a big deal. Just remember it if he decides to friend an ex-girlfriend.
    Sorechia

    Answer by Sorechia at 2:07 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • i have like 2 friends that were boyfriends, i am happily married and besides we barely even talk.I think they just requested me to see how im doing.
    I would never flirt with them because my husband is whom i LOVE

    i think if theres absoultely NO feelngs then theres nothing wrong with it
    lhernandez7208

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 2:09 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I have several old flames on FB. I don't feel the need to tell hubby they were more than friends as we don't check each others friends. I know he also has exes on his and I don't mind.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 8:25 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • No its harmless, I also have my first as a friend on facebook, I told my DH and he was cool with it. If you feel bad tell you hubby.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 10:25 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I can't think of a single old boyfriend that I want to "friend." In fact, I'm pretty sure that if they tried to friend me I'd decline the invitation. I just have no interest.

    I will add that there is a new study that is attributing a significant increase in divorce rates to online networking sites such as Facebook for exactly this reason. I'd just be sure not to do anything on FB with this old boyfriend that you wouldn't want your husband to see. If you find yourself clicking the computer screen off when he comes into the room, you probably need to re evaluate your motives. If not, then you're probably good.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.