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How to be happy for other people?

Just about EVERYone I know is pregnant. (Must be something in the water!)

My tubes are tied, and I regretted it from the day it was done.

How can I be happy for people? I am jealous. They don't know this, well, no-one knows.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I get angry at pregnant people. I am not sure if it is jealousy or not. I had my tubes tied 4 years ago and have not regretted it for a moment. Yes I want another baby but I do not want another CHILD. My two are devil spawn and every day I thank myself for getting it done when I did.

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:21 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Ease up on yourself. If you understand that it is normal to have the urge for more children, then maybe it won't disturb you if you do. Mother Nature wants the race to continue, so we naturally have a drive toward more babies. But as thinking people, we sometimes find that in our lives that more children wouldn't be the best for them or for us, so we take steps against having more. It doesn't stop that drive, that urge, though. So be patient with yourself when you feel like this and understand that it is not at all a character flaw, just a natural feeling. Smile when you see a pregnant person or a baby. Tell yourself how pleased you are for them. You'll come to believe yourself. :)

    Answer by Bmat at 9:40 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Keep yourself busy and when someone is pregnant and you end up going to a baby shower or whatever the case may be, there's no reason you can't get excited for them and get them bunches of cute stuff, offer to babysit and almost be a surrogate mother! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.
    couldn't have said it better myself.
    Just be grateful for what you DO have and not what you don't.

    Answer by ABusyBee at 10:48 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I competely understand how you feel. I found out my cousin was pregnant and I was so jealous of her even though I don't even want anymore kids. and I don't even like kids if they are not mine...I know that sounds bad but not everyone is a kid person, anyways I was extra jealous until I realized that she going to have to go through ten months of hell, 8-10 hours of torture and 18-30 years of being a 24/7 maid,chaffuer,cook,therapist,part time nurse and more, for no money and no vacation time. I quickly had a change of heart.

    Answer by symle456 at 10:57 AM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I've had 2 miscarriages and was never able to give birth (I adopted my daughter). I know that feeling of looking at a pregnant woman and feeling angry at the shape of her belly. But I learned to separate that from my own experience and be happy for her. I also learned to be happy for myself that I have my own child. You are just going through some feelings of loss. Every time you feel that jealousy, your heart is aching for that loss. Just accept it and let yourself feel it when you do. Admit it for what it is to yourself. In time you will heal.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 12:10 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

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