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Curious for opinions:).

My boyfriend and I were dating for 3 months when we got engaged, and after 5 months together, I found out I was pregnant. We moved in together after the baby was born, but the stress of a newborn caused us to break up. We got back together after a 3 month break, and have been together for almost 8 months. Since our first relationship was so rushed, and he was my first serious relationship, I never was able to find out what it was like to take things slowly and let them get serious on their own. What I am wondering in this relationship is, how can I tell when this is happening? And how can I tell that he is with me and comes to see me for both the baby and I, not just the baby? I don't believe that's why he comes over, I believe he loves me and our child equally, I'm just curious.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Jun. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Ask him
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:00 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I've asked him if he thought we were serious and he said he thought we were getting there. I don't believe we are serious yet either but I do think we are working towards it. He does come to see both the baby and I, but he does spend more time with me, so that's why I believe he's interested in both of us equally.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I think in time you will know. You can ask him, but men aren't always the best communicators. Do you have dates without the baby? Do you discuss your future at all? If things are good and you don't want to rush it, it may be best to just enjoy this time and not worry about where its going just yet. How old are you both?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:03 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I'll add that one sure fire way to chase a man away is to constantly ask him about your relationship. Enjoy eachother, court eachother, fall in love and the rest will fall in place. Pressure him even a little bit and you can kiss him goodbye.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:05 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • We are 22 and 23 yrs. old. We do have quite a few dates without the baby:). We take our son along with us to do things, but have date nights where we go out together to dinner, a movie, etc. We do discuss our future,and agree that we both would like to get married to each other when we are ready.

    By the way, I'm finding that you are right. The more you talk about the relationship,the more stressful and annoying it is for both parties.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Use your intuition to answer your own question, no one better than you knows.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:12 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • does he ever have the baby by himself? second, i do not believe that you can like your kids and SO equally, i believe that he will always be attached to his child. he could break up with you or you him and you will always have that child. It will never be equal just different,, However i would say that if he was not interested in you then he wouldn't be seeing you that often and finding time to take the baby without you. Depending on why you broke up he may be hesitant to get back in the same situation again. men tend to show their emotions more then we do.. that is they cannot hide it as much.. does he seem happy around you or annoyed, or angry. does he care about what is going on in your life or do you only talk about the baby. plus you guys are going out and i wouldn't think he would make an effort like that if he wasn't interested. I would say the only thing i would make sure of is that he is exclusive.
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 2:42 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • if he says he is only going to see you while you are figuring out this relationship then he is into you, if he is keeping his options open then that is not too good. IMO
    TaiM

    Answer by TaiM at 2:43 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • He seems happy:).Annoyed with his job, but happy wit h me. He does care about what is going on in my life. We talk about the baby, but only about how he slept, things he ate, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

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