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What's wrong with marrying and staying married for the kids?

I've always wanted to ask this because a lot of moms on this site find that to be a problem. I've always wanted to give my kids something I didn't have, a mother and father at home. I've always wanted my kids to be full blood relation to each other. There are a lot of times when I don't like him, but I want to suck it up for my kids.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Jun. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • Why is it bad??? Because parents who stay together ONLY for the kids generally dont' like eachother, the kids can sense that. Do you think it's good for the kids to see their parents fight all the time, or one parent ALWAYS give in just to keep the peace? Im a firm believer in Marriage. But miserable spouses make miserable parents and kids

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:35 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Because it hurts the kids more to be in home where the parents don't love each.
    They need to see what relationship is suppose to be like, they learn from us what relationship are like kwim.
    Also if the parents don't love each other there more than likely is arguing and/or hatred the children don't need to be around that.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 1:36 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I think it totally depends on the relationship. For example, I love my husband very much and we are both committed to seeing this through and being old together, we have ups and downs and when its a down time it is that very thing that gets us through. While I do think that way too many couples throw in the towel as soon as it gets a little hard, I also think there are many relationships that are better to end in divorce than stay together. So, for you and for me, yes, when the going gets tough we stick it out for the kids, but we always always end up in a good place after weathering the storm, but for others? I can't really speak for them as I have no idea what is going on in their relationship, or what they are exposing their kids to, kwim?

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:36 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Because kids are very perceptive, they sense a loveless marriage in a blink, they also sense an unhappy mother which is detremental to their development, a happy household is the best environment to thrive on., even if they are separate ones!

    Answer by older at 1:36 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I would rather that my child see me in a loving, affectionate relationship than to just see mom and dad 'living' together. I feel it gives them a flawed view of what a relationship can be like and make them feel like they may settle. JMO. If it works for you, good but is that what you want your kids to have? Kids tend to image their relationships or view on relationship against what they were brought up with.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:36 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • because if the parents are unhappy the children are unhappy

    Answer by laciD at 1:37 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I agree with Zakysmommy

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:37 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Because staying together without the love for each other will breed unhappiness! And that is something kids will see. It's always better to have two separate parents with happy loving relationships with their kids than it is to have unhappy people trying to come together for the kids...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:37 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Well... there's a difference between not "liking him" and full on hating each other and constantly fighting 24/7.
    There are lots of times when my DH is a complete tool and I ignore him until he knocks his shit off. Would I divorce him because we're not in a constant state of happiness? Nope. Never. I love him way too much.

    However, I don't agree with staying married just for the kids. I think kids pick up a lot of hostility and tension within parents, and often times, it's a much more harmful and traumatizing life vs. divorcing each other. Like I always say... just because the parents divorce, are they divorcing the kids as well? Nope.
    My DH and I have always come to the agreement that even if it didn't work out between us, we would never punish the other or our kids by making the situation extremely awkward and uncomfortable.

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 1:37 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Besides, it's a LOT better to divorce when the feeling is mutual and there's not too many hard feelings running rampant vs. sticking to the marriage for the kids' sake, and realizing that it just isn't working out. By then, there could be irreversible hatred between the parents, and the kids are scarred.

    Answer by ManicMomma02 at 1:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

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