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What do I do in a situation like this?

I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months. I was with my ex for 3 years my family LOVED him but we went our separate ways because the distance was just too much. (and other things too) Well, last night my dad and I got into it. I feel like he is in so much control over me and my relationships. He blurted out in such a horrible tone "well some people around here think you are using him for his money and that hes your "sugar daddy" I was FURIOUS! The only people that like him are my mom and sister and its bc they actually take the time to sit and have a convo with him! My brother said that about me. He doesn't live here. He doesnt know anything about us except that he sent me flowers and bought me perfume. He only bought it bc he really wanted me to have it..i was goin to walk out the store bc i didnt wanna pay more than 20 for it. W.e. so my theory is that since he is mix (black/white) he is being more harsh on me. cont'd

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:49 PM on Jun. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Cont'd....he did this with my baby's daddy too. He was mix as well. My ex for 3 years was white. They loved him to death right from the start. And my dad doesnt make any effort to have a conversation with my current BF. I am so tired of my dad all up in my life and controlling everything i do. He also says that hugging on him and holding his hand is bad.

    Has anyone gone through this? I KNOW that I need to get out of the house. I already know. I am trying my damn hardest to. But in the mean time my dad tries to control my relationships. I can't believe that he and my brother would talk so low about me when they don't have a clue about our relationship. It's liek they are not used to me going out and having fun for once bc I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years! So now that I actually have the opportunity to go out and have fun once in a while, they think I'm using him for his money. Which in fact, I pay for my shh
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Ignore it...you can't control what people say...it's your business...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:53 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • That's what I tried to say...and my dad thinks I'm being stupid and don't know what I"m doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Oh man this sounds similar to my situation. I'm dating a black guy but my parents think we're just friends because they wouldn't approve. They say it's not because he's black but I feel like they're being harsher on him because he is. They say that he's a smooth talker when he was only trying to make a good impression and they think that he's using me even though when I was in the hospital for 3 days he came to visit me every day and most of the time stayed for hours on end. He's really good with my son and is always willing to help out me or my friends. I don't know what their problem is. I need to get out too!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • when i was much younger, i dated a guy with long hair. my grandmother found out by accident that i had an abortion. at christmas she had my cousin running around with a pair of scissors and then told friends of the family that didn't even know me about the abortion. i dated mixed guys, latino guys, and white guys in my prejudiced family (dad's side). i don't think my mom's side likes my current husband based on crap my teenage daughter said (lies). thank god i don't see any of them that much and they all know i'll tell them to fuck off if they start any ignorant stuff. get out of the house and let them talk smack while you're not there to hear it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Anon :56pm....UGh isn't it ridiculous! THey think he just wants sex from me. This guy is so good to me! Not because he takes me out and buys me shit. It's because he is genuine. I can't stand it how ppl are racist. They are way too judgemental and they don't even know him!!!! AH! lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:00 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • 1st i would tell your family to mind there own bussiness
    2nd stay out of your bussineess
    3rd live your own life
    4th move out and move on
    5th if they can not exept them men you date that is there problem not yours
    6th your a grown woman act like it hon im sorry if that is too hard
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • OP here: I would tell them to fuck off...but I already got my car taken away for over a month. HOW ridiculous. They are treating me like I am 15. And I am not acting like it. I didn't do ANYTHING for them to talk shit behind my back. And about the car....I've done much worse. This time, I was defending myself because my dad called me a smartass and has always taught ME not to do that, but yet he does it anyway.

    This shit is uncalled for.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I am acting like a grown woman. I didn't deserve to hear my dad tell me I'm using my bf as a sugar daddy. He doesn't know shit about us. And for my brother to say it behind my back...he could just say it to my face ya kno. Be a man. I haven't done anything for him to even think that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:07 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • if you are living off your parents and they have given you car privileges that can be taken away... well, sounds like you are continuing a situation that allows you to be treated like a 15 year old... if you are here, you must have a kid - act like an adult and pay your own bills, get a car, etc. since you're a single mom i know it's not as easy as it sounds, but are you waiting for prince charming to whisk you away? get out there on your own...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

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