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less than 24 hours from our court date he says he cant appear? i am soo frustrated!!!

My custody battle has been going on for a while now. I left him 2 1/2 years ago because after 5 years of trying to get him to stop using drugs i had enough. so i left and took the kids.

Now 2 1/2 yrs later he wants the kids. he started the custody battle hasnt tried to visit in over a year. Hasnt even called in six months. and for the past 3 1/2 weeks there has even been a set time for him to call on week nights and still NO phone calls for our 3 and 5 year old children.

We were finally going to court tomorrow at 9 am. I get a call from my lawyer this afternoon telling me he cant make it because he cant get off work. he was told he was going to be drug tested and now all of a sudden he cant come. ...cont...


Asked by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Jun. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • He cant get off work! What a load of crap. Work HAS to let you go if you have a court date. You said for the past 3 weeks he has had a plan set up time to call the kids at? Was that court ordered or was that something you guys set up? Sounds like you have done a great job documenting everything so far. Keep documenting and let him dig himself into a hole. If he has court orders that say he can call at this time on this day and he doesnt, keep documenting. Also, if he calls past the childrens bedtime, do not get them back up to take the call. Sounds to me like he is still doing drugs. My divorce went on for 3 yrs so I know what you are going through. Go to court tomorrow and have your sttorney tell judge what is going on with this guy. I promise eventually the judge really does run out of patience with these guys. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • ...cont...
    my lawyer told him if he cant come he cant see the kids. and my lawyer also say he thinks he is playing games. he told the courts i refuse to let him call the kids or even see them. So i via instant message (after not being able to pull phone records) got him to admit he was the one not taking the initiative to make contact with the children.

    Anyways court is being put off again for a month. the new date is yet to be determined. i know he is their father but this man is a stranger to the kids by his own choice. i cant force him to call or visit. i am sooo frustrated at this point i am ready for this to be over with.

    everytime he lies about something i "have done" i find proof for my lawyer and the courts he is lying. i am mad because if he wants the kids soo badly then why doesnt he try to call them or even show up for court instead of waiting untill the last minute to say " o i cant make it" ...please pray 4 me

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I will pray for you !

    you sound like a very good mother and a very good person who is atleast trying to give/gave him a chance to be a father and he is the one the blew it.... I hope it all works out for you !

    Answer by glamomomo at 7:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • why would they tell him they are going to do a drug test..thats stupid. Thats just preparing him for one

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:55 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • THiS MAN is trying to trick you , (I feel in my heart), he may or may not show. But if he doesn't show, you may automatically not have to go to court and it will go to YOU, Y O U will gain custody, and if he hasn't called the court to prove he absolutely can't get off work, for a good enough reason, than he's out of this. I am sure if you wouldn't be there he'd probably try to pull this on you. Maybe it's for real, though, and I should just eat my words.....
    But hun, regardless you should appear
    Hope this helps , I wish you a good life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • i agree you should appear no matter just shows how unstable he is with him not showing

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:59 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • appear so you can win the battle, then be done with it

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • ty..anon....i was told by my lawyer that i didnt need to appear because there will be a new court date set. i am really really sure he is tring to dodge the drug test. but we are doing urine and hair folical. so even if the urine comes clean after the having to wait another month....his hair will tell a whole diff story. but i agree. if i was him and the show was on the other foot i would tell my job im sorry but these are my kids and i have to go. and if they chose to fire me. well there are other jobs. but you cant replace the kids. (OP)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Don't let him back in your/their lives. He can just get over his drugs and then you can be a mom. DON"T let him influence you, he is playing games now A G A I N >>>>.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:03 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • the time was not court ordered. but however in one of his replies to the court he requested a set time so i gave it to him. i dont have a problem with him seeing htem or talking to them he is their dad..but he is not taking them anywhere. nor is he getting custody. it take more than the act of making them and child support every month to be a dad....

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Jun. 2, 2010