Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How old do you think is too old to fost-adopt?

I'd like to get some opinions, but hopefully without bashing. Believe it or not, some of us get our feelings hurt easily. Thanks!

 
Iamgr8teful

Asked by Iamgr8teful at 9:50 PM on Jun. 2, 2010 in Adoption

Level 25 (23,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • We started with foster care when we were late 30's & into our 40's when we adopted. Raleyfamily would tell you that she adopted her youngest 3 from foster care (3 separate cases & adoptions) over the age of 50. (Maybe 49 on one but 50+ on the others.) These are her youngest of 10 children.

    In our foster parent support group, some of the best foster parents I know are early to mid-50's, and a couple that is in their 60's & has been doing foster care for 30+ years are also an adoptive family. I just read a book by a friend on CM in which she, at 43 (If I remember right) began foster care after her DH passed away, and was 50 or more when she adopted a sibling group that included a foster child who came to her as a 1-year old.

    I know that some people may have health limitations over 50, 60+, but these people aren't sitting around in their rockers or wheel chairs. They've got love & stamina & use it to help kids in need.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 5:43 AM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I think as long as you are able to keep up with an active kid, you are not too old.but I am sure there are guide lines in the state you liive in.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 9:53 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • My daughters siblings were adopted by a couple in their 70's. They were 8 & 10 at the time. We used to have a rule that you had to be under 40 but they lifted it 5 years ago. Now their is no age limit. Anyone over 21 may do it.
    BlooBird

    Answer by BlooBird at 10:06 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • My husband is 52 and I am 41. He thinks we may be too old because he is looking at how old he will be when all of our kids are grown. My thinking is "what better thing could I do with my time than enjoy raising children?" I always pictured us having about four kids, but we got a late start. My mom's jaw dropped when I told her what I was thinking. I adore my mom, and her opinion counts for a lot with me.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 10:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • i am 40(almost) with a 2 yr old .... and i am considering adopting again... not sure if i want an infant or an older child.... not sure i want my DD to be an only child...
    chiana

    Answer by chiana at 1:46 AM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • OP-Yes, get ready for the "Have you lost your mind?" crowd, but go with your heart. Your mom may just need more information about foster care. Chances are that just a few years ago, you might not have thought about it yourself. But, in time, you've learned a lot about it. Good luck no matter what you decide. :)
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 5:46 AM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I am Catholic, and in that "culture" we are open to life. Most of you probably know that the Catholic Church is adamantly opposed to birth control, so it is not unusual for older women to be pregnant and nobody questions it. If I were to get pregnant (miracle of miracles!), everyone would say that after all these years it must have been God's will. Somehow people see it differently if you choose to expand your family as an older couple.

    I had originally hoped for about four children. My DD really wants a sister, and I can relate b/c I always wanted a sister and never had one. I think it would be neat if each of my kids could have a brother and a sister.

    My mom wasn't really trying to discourage me, but she just kept reminding me how old DH is and sort of laughing. She will be supportive if we decide to go ahead with it. Thanks, everyone, for the kind and helpful responses!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:55 AM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • . It depends on your husband. There are 60 yr old (projecting the future) that don't want to deal with kid stuff so to speak and then there are 60+ yr old on the soccer fields,little league fields and selling GS cookies. I had my last at 40 and would have continued except my Lupus caused some kidney damage to me.My mom was finished by the time she was 25 ,my 25 yr old was born when I was 27,my sis was finished by 30.Guess what I am saying is only you and your husband can decide this and only yall.Even as close with your mom as you are this has zip to do with her.Follow yalls heart.

    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 3:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • TY, drfink! I asked for information to be sent to me today, so that is a first step. I don't know if DH will agree. If it is meant to be, it will be. My mom suggested that I need to work in a newborn nursery or NICU to get my baby fix, lol! I must be certifiably nuts, seriously. I just want more and more kids!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 5:06 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • LOL...my mother recommended the same thing about getting a job around babies. I am always saying I want another baby.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:19 PM on Jun. 3, 2010