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Just need opinions and advice. Have another baby or not?

My husband and I have a son he will be 3 in a week. He is 28 and I am 23. We have discussed having another child. We have said since day one we wanted them close in age (around 2 years apart). We wanted to do it before we got out of baby mode. We have not used diapers in a year, he sleeps all night, and drinks out of a glass and feeds himself. I have been the one pushing for a baby for a year, until about 4 months ago. Now he is saying he would like to have on before our son is 4. I don't know if I want to start over. We have both agreed that if we don't have another by the time our son is 5 then we are through. I like being able to devote all my time to my son and be able to get him everything he needs and get him things we want him to have. He is the only child, grandchild, nephew (no nieces), and great-grandchild so he is very spoiled and I think it would be good for him. Continued..........

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jun. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Continued.

    I worry it would take away from him. I am just unsure, but I know if we don't do it soon we won't and I don't want this to be somrthing I regret.

    Thanks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I didn't get the baby itch until my dd was about 5 and it didn't really hit hard until she was about 7. Now she is 10 and we have a 6 month old. Although it is nice having a big helper, I wouldn't recommend a big age gap. It is such a hard decision, especially when you are young. I was 21 when I had dd#1 and 30 when I had dd#2. Its amazing how time gets away from you.
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 11:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I felt that way too but now I am soo happy with our 2 babies... and now I want a 3rd lol

    you only regret the kids you DONT have, not the ones you do !
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 11:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Oh, and I do regret not having them closer together.
    Mel_in_PHX

    Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 11:41 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I see your POV, you are on a roll and things are simple ad easier. However If I were you, I would have another child. Why? Because when you look at this objectively you see that is what you an your dh wanted to do from the beginning. When you are 38 and your son goes away to college you will wonder why you didn't have any more children. It will be more work but once your baby arrives you will see it was ALL worth it! JMO, Good luck with whatever you decide :)

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I don't feel it's taking away from him, it's giving him a gift actually. A lifelong companion, friend, family is very important. Personally I feel that only child's are the ones that get jipped. I understand your reservation though, but just think if you have a girl, you could have a lifelong friend, shopping partner, you could watch your grandbabies be born, etc. I really want a girl someday, but I am in school and we're waiting for about 3 yrs till I'm done and settled in a job to start over, but I'm also afraid at that point I won't want to. I have a 3.5yr old, and a 15month old- both boys. Things get a whole lot easier when they turn 3, but my 15 month old is just a shining light in our worlds, so I wouldn't change anything. I've always wanted a bigger family too, I want to be surrrounded by my children and grandchildren and hope to have huge family gatherings and get-togethers someday and be very close. That's my dream.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 11:47 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • but I'll add my limit is 4, lol.
    AshleyBDG

    Answer by AshleyBDG at 11:48 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • Ummm. You don't want a spoiled child, then they will live life thinking that everything would be handed to them, God Forbid something happens to you and your husband? Nobody AND I mean nobody will care for your child as you do..Have another baby if you feel that you& your family are ready... My child was super spoiled to the point she wasn't able to go to preschool because she didn't want to follow rules, or be apart from mom and dad... and she was kinda lonely so yes your child needs a sibling ... My husband and I are having our 2nd child, and our 1st just turned 4, so we think this is perfect timing..
    psychobilly_mom

    Answer by psychobilly_mom at 11:49 PM on Jun. 2, 2010

  • I think rasing a child as an only child is curel.

    My reasons are this
    1. When you and your DH die he will not have any siblings who understand the pain your death has caused him. He will have no one to lean on.
    2. What if something happend to you in a year, he would have is Aunts and gradparents and what not but a sibling is something that I know makes a situation like that easier.
    3. He will always have a playmate, friend,ETC.


    You are not taking anything AWAY from him, you are giving him a lifelong friend and a person to always lean on during tough times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • hey im mexican i want my kid to be an only child, she has 3 boy cousins, 1 girl cousin, and a half sister. cos of the issues with my brother's kids, she would definately get spoiled by my side of the family. no one ever sees those two.

    but for yours thats too much. he needs a relation to play with. if you get pregnant within the next few months they will only be 4 years apart. thats a good range. me and my sister are 4 years apart. i think you should have another for your sons sanity, but its your own personal choice. really think about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Jun. 3, 2010

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