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Do most parents react like this, or am I just horrible and self-centered?

In most things, my daughter has been "ahead of the curve" developmentally. For example, she was walking before she was even 10 months old. I have been concerned lately, however, because she is nearly 19 months old and has yet to say a coherent word. Between 12 and 14 months, she seemed to be starting to say simple words like "mama" and "dada", and she even did some baby sign language. By 15 months though, she just stopped. She babbles in a conversational tone and signs "eat", but that's it. At her checkup today, her physican agreed that she may have a speech delay and gave me the number for the local organization that works with children three and under on possible development issues. My first thoughts were, "What more could I have done to help her?" Then, I had this horrible realization that I am actually upset (not at her, of course) that I am that my child may be less than "perfect". I felt like such a bad mother

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (25)
  • Your not a bad mother! It happens some times. DId you baby-talk to her? My DD's doctor told me that he sees a lot of children with speech problems because their parents baby-talk to them. He said it is a very bad and confusing thing to do with a child...

    Answer by leslie_zoe2010 at 12:17 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • All you can do is do what you can when you can. Make sure she's around other people too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • No honeslty, I felt that way when my daughter was a baby because I had a friend who had a daughter at the same time ( 2 weeks apart) ... and she always talked about what her daughter was already doing ( talking, walking, crawling, etc..) and this was all around 8 months old...and there was also other things like, my daughter was pretty much bald and her daughter had tons of dark curls and she got to fix her hair, and of course her daughter never cried or was fussy, etc...... so everytime I would talk to her I would feel worse ...

    Then I realized this is MY daughter and she is perfect no matter what .....

    and also when i hung out with that friend again ( when our daughters where around 2) ... MY daughter was doing soooo much more than hers and she ( friend) kept saying how much she has always wanted a daughter with blonde hair like mine) ... I know thats a differnt reason why we felt the way we did, but your not alone !

    Answer by glamomomo at 12:19 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • IMO, you are over-reacting a little bit. Kids develop at different rates and at their own pace. She's 19 months now...well if at 19 years if she's able to hold down a job and/or good grades in college (or is doing OK in the military) then you've done your job right.

    Answer by MamaK88 at 12:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • physically fast has nothing to do with how smart they are. The fact that she is not saying more doesn't mean she is not smart. parents think if their kids say full sentences by 12-20mos they are just so intelligent when other kids will catch up! My son was slow to talk and benind in that aspect at 2 but by 3 he was advanced from 2-3 they learn and grow so much. My 5 yr old talked young and ins entences but she has articulation speech problem I never would of thought that as young as she started. All my kids did there milestones fast and all my kids are average as far as intelligence. I think they are incredible but they are not advanced by any means.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I think too many parents expect their children to be perfect at everything. My oldest son didn't say real words until 2 and he is 8 now and right on schedule. My oldest daughter talked good at 2. My 2nd daughter was talking in sentences at 15-18m but, didn't walk until 18 months. My third daughter is 15 m and babbles and looks like she is having a serious conversation, just started walking, and pees in the potty. My adopted child came to us at 3.5 y couldn't talk clearly, walked like a baby and couldn't run, I think he has mild cerebral palsy though. Kids will do things on their schedule when they are ready, I think your doctor is trying to ease your mind personally I don't think the Early Intervention is necessary. You could have her hearing checked though because if she is hard of hearing they will delay talking.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 12:23 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • You're self-centered!
    How is that in any way helpful? I hope you are joking.
    Listen, my boys have speech delays and it's no big deal. I know the feeling of that. It's not that you want your child to be perfect, it's that you don't want to watch them struggle and endure the pain of not being up with everyone else. I know the feeling well and it has nothing to do with being "self-centered" it has to do with wanting what's best for your child. The public school system has offered services to my son that have helped him leaps and bounds. Enter her in child find as soon as or right before she turns three. Early intervention is the very best thing you can do.

    Answer by lowencope at 12:23 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Answered at 12:15 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 by: Anonymous
    You're self-centered!

    And you're a bitch!!! If you're going to be rude and un-supportive (which is the OPPOSITE of what I thought this site was for!), at least have the spine to not post anonymously.

    Answer by Kassey713 at 12:23 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I think it's a normal reaction. Just follow through with the birth to three program and everything will be fine.

    When my DD was little I took her to an eye doctor appointment and they told me she had slightly crossed eyes. I never noticed it before. But then after they pointed it out that was all I could see. It made me feel horrible. Now I don't even notice anymore.

    Answer by BlooBird at 12:26 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • It's called the death of your dream. As parents, we all have a vision of what our kid will be like, months and years down the road, but most of us have to eventually deal with a reality that is much different. My kids were mellow, obedient all around good kids and students until HS. OMgosh, then the s hit the fan. It's hard, but it happens to most of us somewhere along the way. Use your resources and help your daughter in every way possible. It will all work out in the end :)


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

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