Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not enough sex?

My husband and I have sex probably 2-3 times a week. True, he usually has to initiate and about 75% of the time they are quickies. He acts as tho it is not enough or that I do not give him enough attention. I try! But I am friggin tired lol. Plus, if he is initiating several times a week, it doesn't really leave me room to do so, ya know?? Advice??

Answer Question
 
Heather_Rayne

Asked by Heather_Rayne at 2:19 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • My SO tries daily and get on me about not initiating it too. I don't see how I could if every night he is bugging me about it. I give in probably every other day. The rare nights that I know he is too tired, I will initiate just because I know he will say no. Then the next he gets on me about not trying I say 'What about Saturday night, when YOU were to tired. I tried then!' Its a little wrong and evil but it keeps him happy and off my back about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • You're going to get the idiots who will tell you "don't be surprised if he starts cheating on you since you're not having sex every day and men NEED to have sex every day." That's bullshit. Just talk to him and tell him, "I know you'd like it more, but I'm just too tired and I can't enjoy it when I'm too tired. I don't want sex to feel like a chore. I want it to be fun and feel close to you instead of starting to resent having to do it."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Thing is - I never say no. Never. I might tell him to make it a quickie lol...but I don't refuse him. I recently lost some weight and I think for some reason he is thinking that I do not feel affectionate towards him anymore. But really the extra hour of exercise on top of everything else is just making me more tired.
    Heather_Rayne

    Answer by Heather_Rayne at 2:34 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • If he acts as if you don't give him enough attention, that's probably how he feels. Talk to him. I like what Anon 2:24 said: tell him that you're tired, and you don't want it to be a chore, you want to enjoy it. Maybe try initiating it more. Pick a day that will work, and just set your mind that that will be the evening/afternoon/day, what have you, that you will attack your man when he gets home or whatever. I bet he would greatly appreciate it.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:07 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • hey skip the hour of exercise and sexercise for that hour. You do all the work and get your workout in. He enjoys it and you get off the hook about never initiating.
    StefInfection

    Answer by StefInfection at 3:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • sorry, you guys are gonna hate me... I have sex whenever he intiates it. I tell him too to make it a quickie if I'm too tired. They don't care, actually its less work for them, they just want to release. I'm not being used. I'm a working mom with two children and I still find time to make him happy. And he finds time to make me happy as well. No wonder there are so many divorces. Isn't that what we raise men to think? Find one woman to marry and have sex with her the rest of your life. Sheesh! Can't have it both ways ladies.

    And no, my husband doesn't have a slow sex drive. He wants sex nearly every day. And sometimes twice on weekend days. But we have been happy for ten years. No commitment issues or nothing like that. And yes I pray every day that my husband continues to desire me and only me for the rest of our lives. God bless! delete your answer
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • The only time I turn my husband down is if he has smelly breath. Or if he climbed into bed without a shower. So if he comes to bed with fresh breath and showered, I know what he wants, lol. I guess I'm lucky that I worked out a warning system haha.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Anon :22, good for you. If that's all that can keep your man happy, then I'm glad mine uses his brain and cares about how I'M feeling. And I care enough about him to initiate sex at times that I might not really be in the mood, but I know it will make him happy. He cares enough about me to know that when I say, "I'm sorry, but I'm exhausted tonight," that he can just give me a kiss and a hug and wait a night. And we have a WONDERFUL marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:20 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • 2-3 times a week is normal. Don't let him kid you. You're doing all the right things. He's just being...well, typical. He'd probably complain if you were doing it three times a day...

    Hmmm. Evil thought just occured to me. Initiate this weekend, every two hours at night. Wake him up.

    They do say to be careful what you wish for....
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:26 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Wow. 2 to 3 times a week is a lot here. No that it wasn't like that once! I would just try harder to initiate now and then. I always initiate and it does get old and I wonder if we would ever do it, if I didn't ask for it. It hurts my feelings. I know where your husband is coming from. Just make a little more effort. How about in the morning- that would surprise him.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 4:30 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.