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Single mom in need of dating advise

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 months seriously (for about a year and a half casually) He is the first guy I've ever introduced to my daughter and I really like him. I've known him since we were kids. My daughters dad is not in the picture at all. She is 4 almost 5 and he hasn't seen her more than 1 day in the last 3 and a half years. I eventually want the guy I end up with to take on the role of dad. If my boyfriend never wants that role then I shouldn't waste my time but how do I know. When should I bring up these concerns to him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • This is something you should have discussed before you introduced him into her life. IMO. I understand you don't want to scare the guy off, but he just needs to understand that you and your daughter are a package deal. You don't want someone to be introduced into her life and then promptly taken away, so he needs to be serious about the relationship. I don't know about the father figure thing, but he needs to understand that he can't get close to her and then the two of you just break up becaues it will be hard on her. Situations like these are tough. I"m sorry.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 2:41 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • i would now. i'm sure he has already thought about this some. obviously she is not going anywhere and he has to accept you and her both as his.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 2:42 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I would just ask him. You are a mom and your number 1 concern is for your child. he needs to understand that she has to come first and if he doesn't want the role, then you can't waste anymore time with him. Ask him how he feels about taking on the role of dad. If he pales, then he isn't ready or doesn't want it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:42 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I always explain to my potential boyfriends that they have to understand that since there is no dad in the picture that there is a possibility that he might have to take that on. I assume since he's with you and he's met your daughter that he already understands this. The guy I'm with has met my son and is great with him. He knows that that's what I'm looking for and even though he's not ready right now, I know that he will be soon.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 2:50 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • i told my dh when we were dating that i wanted to be married and i wanted more kids and my son needed a father and if he couldnt handle that then to tell me now. He said "okay" I just didnt want to waste my time or play games. Of course don't jump the gun...on the first date...wait to you are comfortable enough to have this convo and then tell them. We were married the next year..my son asked if he could call my dh dad and my dh said yes and he does. Life is peachy
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 2:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • when? now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • how long have you been dating this guy?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:49 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

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