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When family is the bad influence, what do you do?

I think most of us know a couple of your children's friends that are not the best influence on you child. But what do you do when the "rotten" kid is family? My dd is 3.5 and her cousins 6 and 8 (both girls) talk back to their parents and grandparents. they push and shove and are rude. They won't sit still in restaurants and rather walk around the table. We take our daughter out to dinner with us all the time and so she is very well-behaved until the cousins come into the picture! Grrr..... My SIL is a total doormat and her kids walk all over her, her husband is seldom around so he doesn't discipline either. I want to be close to them because they are family but unfortunately I deal with a rotten kid after she has spent time with them. What to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Remind your daughter that that behavior is unacceptable and just because her cousins do it doesn't mean she can't and it doesn't mean she won't be punished. And then FOLLOW THROUGH
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 3:18 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • My SIL is one of the planets worst mothers, so when her kids are around there is just no respect for anything. They think they run the planet. So I just keep my kids away from them... Of course it's a lot easier for me seeing how I don't speak to their mother in the first place. But I see it as my kids are my job. I can't control how she raises her kids, but I can control what goes on when mine are around... So, when they come around, we go somewhere else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • oops, doesn't mean she can! LOL
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 3:21 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I know exactly what you mean. My two kids are well behaved(most of the time) and can be taken out to restaurants where they sit still, eat nicely and my son uses his manners. My kids are 3.5 and 9 months old.

    My sister has a 2.5 year old that they do nothing to discipline. I watched as he got angry at his dad and smacked the crap out of him. My son was in the other room but my DD was sitting there staring at him so I covered her eyes. I don't need her learning that.

    When I was a kid my sister and I were well behaved and polite and my cousins were rude and rowdy. My mum would always compliment my sister and I on how well behaved we were and make mention of how our cousins were behaving inappropriately.
    I liked the praise so I kept being a good kid.

    So far it seems to work for my son too. He sometimes lets other kids know when they're being rude. Lol!
    Laila-May

    Answer by Laila-May at 3:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Just tell her different home/parents, different rules.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:40 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I severly limit the time spent with those types of relatives. I've even gone so far as to say to my son when, he starts behaving that way, the rules don't change just because we are with so and so. He has the option of behaving appropriately or we go elsewhere.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I would limit the time she spends with them and when she acts up tell her 'no, we don't behave like that'.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:38 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • We had a cousin like that and I told my kids this when they were hanging around my brothers kids who were bad I told them and reminded them of how that behavior does not work in our home and I pointed out how when they went to other peoples homes how they are welcome and how the cousins were sometimes not welcome to other peoples house because of the behavior. Tell them its hard to not follow the cousins but remember how good it will be when you are invited back and they are not.

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:57 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Personally I make sure that the kids whether mine or not understand what is acceptable to me. And if they are not being a good example to my DD, I tell them to please stop whatever it is because I do not want my DD learning that behavior. I may allow certain things I dont like, but there are limits and I will not put up with it.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:53 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

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