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iv been really thinking about adopting 2 children from Russia. im just unsure where to even began. any thoughts?

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Asked by christan723 at 4:27 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in Adoption

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • y russia ? we have so many orphanages here

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Maybe think about the fact that there are so many children in need in our country! Start in America! Just an opinion! Thank you and good luck!

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 4:53 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Sheesh! You'll have to get used to remarks like the two you already got. There is nothing wrong with choosing to adopt internationally instead of domestically. I did not do international adoption, so I am not the person who can give advice on that. I do know that programs for different countries change often, and I'm not sure what is going on with the Russian program now. I think there are delays because of a mom who sent a seven year old back by himself on a plane, basically abandoning him. Hopefully you'll get some helpful replies, instead of remarks by people who just want to tell you how they think you should form your family. GL!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 5:03 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • my church helps orphanges in other countrys. also the adopting process is much faster .i just think that the children in Russia are soo beautful. but your right there are chlidren hear too that need homes too.

    Answer by christan723 at 5:06 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Look up Reactive Attachment Disorder before you start looking into adoption from Russia. Know that a child that looks beautiful on the outside may be tortured on the inside. It could take years for the child to warm up to you and you have to prepared for that. That is something the woman in TN didn't anticipate when she adopted a 7 year old boy. And unless they are bio siblings I would adopt one at a time so, you can develop a bond with one child at a time. Good luck!

    Answer by matthewscandi at 5:17 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • This could be long....
    I would recommend that you begin by researching all the different programs available. This will give you more information about the costs, the waits, etc..
    I would caution you against getting your hopes up about a short wait due to your Church working with orphanages. If someone tells you that the wait is short due to connections, that typically involves bribes and that is an extremely unethical practice when it comes to an adoption.
    I would also recommend that you do a lot of reading about International Adoption, adoption as a whole, speak with people that have adopted from whatever program you choose, first moms, adoptees if possible and also research attachment and bonding.
    I am an adoptive mom to a little girl from China. Our process was over 2 years and she came home at 17 months old. She has been home for 3 years now. Please pm me if you have any questions...

    Answer by mcginnisc at 9:48 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • MCGINNISC, very good reply, Your little girl is indeed very lucky, to have a Mommy such as yourself;) Blessings, CJ

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:05 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I have some friends that adopted from Russia. The big concern with Russia is fetal alcohol syndrome. Alcoholism is pretty rampant in Russia and, unfortunately, many of the babies have been exposed to alcohol. My friends were wealthy and were able to hire Dr. Aaronson (the one that works with Angelina Jolie) and Dr. Aaronson gave them some tools to take with them over to Russia. When they got there, they took measurements of the head and other measurements and called them in to Dr. Aaronson and, unfortunately, were informed that the first child they were matched with would 89% chance of having a developmental problem. So, while they were in Russia, they were matched with another baby, got the OK from Dr. Aaronson and proceeded with the adoption of that baby. So, be careful and do a lot of reading. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Ack, that last story from anon freaked me out. I guess it's my hang up. Because maybe I would do the same thing in a way, maybe I would decide the Russia program wasn't for me because of risks of fetal alcohol syndrome and detachment issues. But going there, having been matched with a baby, then measuring a kid's head and sending it back because it was "defective" and asking for another one totally freaks me out. Uh no thank you, this one is not how we ordered it, it should definitely stay in an orphanage. There may be some other unpredictable health issues with the baby they do take home. Am I the only one who feels this way?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Jun. 9, 2010

  • PP, it would be hard. I would want to gather up all of the kids and take them home with me. I think you have to decide before you get too far into the process what your family can realistically handle. I do feel sorry for the child. Hopefully he or she wasn't old enough to know what was going on and feel rejected.

    Maybe during the preparation time you could try to find a good support system for the issues that are likely to come up with any child who has suffered long-term emotional neglect in an orphanage.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 3:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2010

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