Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do?

My son's biological father's family (step mom and dad) live in teh same community as my parents. Its a very small town of 300ppl.
So we left back in december 2009. The grandparents haven't tried to contact me to talk to our son, who is 2 1/2 years old.
But now they know we are here and want to have a visit...after no contact for 5 months. And contact before that when we still lived here was really spotty.
The bological father calls maybe once a month and doesn't even ask to talk to his son. Just talks to me. I've encouraged himt o call once a wk like in out custody order permits him to. Still nothing though...

My question to you is, if youw ere in my shoes right now and the other grandparents wanted to visit your very young child who probably doesn't remember them....would you say yes or no?

I don't want to confuse my son. I don't want him to get hurt.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • yes! i think you should because when the baby grows up they cant tell him that you kept him away from that side of the family! you should let your baby know his family! :) good luck mom...

    Answer by gonzalez3 at 4:33 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I've been in that position and continue to be in that position with my late husband's father and family. My sons were 10 months and 3.5 when he passed, and don't remember their grandpa. That said, my door is always open, and they know where I live and how to get ahold of me. I refuse to be the one to let the relationship suffer - its going to be on the grandpa if he continues to decide to stay out of our lives. I don't want my kids to look back years from now and wonder why I didn't let them see their grandfather.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 4:34 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I would let the grandparents see him.

    Answer by mompam at 4:34 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Why would exclude family members from his life that are making an effort to see him? I guess I don't understand the logic. Growing up I didn't see my paternal grandparents because they lived 1500 miles away but when I did see them I was happy and not "confused". You don't need weekly contact to have a good relationship. Let them see their grandchild.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • theres been no contact... i've never been disrespectful or rude to them. I've never blocked them from calling...
    it just doesn't seem right that we have plans now and they are like oh well iw anna see him...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Call them and set up a time that is convenient for you. Tell them you will only be able to stay for one hour and after that you will both be going home. Tell them at the end of that visit when you will be back in town next and set up another visit. If they refuse the visit be nice and ask if there is a more acceptable time for them, if they cant come up with one then leave it at that.

    Answer by lovemybabys1106 at 6:12 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I have to say let them see the baby. We are in a situation where my MIL just wrote us off. I have tried e-mail, texts and a few messages with no reply. My 8 yo is very hurt but the 2 yo doesn't have a memory of her. I wish they could know her, but it's in her hands.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:59 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.