Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


hi, i am a first time mother with a 20 month old. i have been BF'ing her since the day she was born. she has never taken a bottle. i also co-sleep w/her. she nurses several times at night. sounds all good right? well, today she had her first dentist app. it was horrible. turns out she has 4 cavities. i am very good at brushing her teeth several times a day. but i found out today that since she nurses at night, the milk has given her cavities. my heart is so broken right now, i feel like a horrible mother. the dentist tols me that she can no longer nurse at night. and that means she has to start sleeping on her own, in her own bed. that is the only way to keep her from nursing. i need do i make the transition? how do i wean her from BF'ing? i am so sad, she loves to nurse to go to sleep. and i have to admit, i enjoy the closeness with her. i love to have her sleep with me and cuddle. but i feel like a bad..cont..

Answer Question

Asked by Preggydyke at 4:56 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 13 (1,068 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • OP, cont..
    i feel like a bad, horrible mother. all this time i thought i was doing a good thing! i thought BF'ing her and co-sleeping was the best thing for her. what do i do?? please help!!!
    please, no bashing. i need kindness and understanding. this is very hard for our family. she goes next week for fillings in all 4 front teeth. : ( help me!

    Answer by Preggydyke at 4:59 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Maybe it's just me (and I might not have a clue, so give me a break here) but I don't understand why they would fill those since they are baby teeth...they are going to fall OUT....

    Otherwise WAY TO GO MOM! Do not ever feel bad about giving your daughter the best thing she could have....

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 5:07 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • start by having her sleep in her bed(if she has one) for naps and then try 1-2 times for bedtime per week... Try giving her a bottle or sippy cup with water so she can still have the comfort of sucking, or even a pacifier just for time being? It will be hard at first but eventually she will get the hang of it... If you put her in her own bed stay with her until she falls asleep that way she doesn't feel alone

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • They had to do that with 2 of my neices and my sister... they fill them in because they arent going to fall out until they are like 5 or so and they will continue to decay and break and then she will be left with no teeth

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Here's a bright side, you brought her to the dentist at 20 months old and found this out - My dentist told me not to even bother bringing our son in until his 3rd birthday - if you don't get cavities filled, they will rott the teeth so they ARE necessary though, even in baby teeth - it will be painful otherwise. No don't feel bad either, we all can't do 100% right - I have no advice as I birthed a colic filled boy who didn't tolerate my milk and HATED to be held close - he pushed me away from day # 1 we got home...wahhh!! good luck mommy.. deep breathes

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:12 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • You didn't do anything wrong, so don't feel bad about it. Lots of little kids end up with acvities, whether they were breastfed or bottle fed. And there may not be a need to stop night nursing if you don't want to. Try contacting LLL for some support and advice. I read in their New Beginnings magazine just a couple months ago about a mom who was dealing with cavities and nursing, who was able to come to a compromise with her dentist.
    Here's a link to their online help form and FAQ page, so you can find a leader to call or submit a request for online help:,0
    Good luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Calling LLL for support is a good suggestion - Here's a link more specific to dental issues:

    Answer by raybird1031 at 5:17 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • First of all, it wasn't your milk that caused the cavaties and if that's what the dentist has told you, they're misinformed. Your milk has enzymes in it that prevent the growth of cavity causing bacteria. Also, if you're adamant about getting her out of your bed and into her own, go to Dr. Jay Gordon's website. It's got a great article on transitioning from the family bed.

    Answer by ncbirdie at 5:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:27 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • It was NOT your milk. I knew a couple of formula fed kids who had THE BEST oral hygiene in the world, never got bttoels to go to sleep....but needed root canals before third grade. They merely had soft enamel, which is a genetic problem. And very likely is the problem here.

    It could have been WORSE had you not been breastfeeding. Many dentists simply do NOT know this. They think breastmilk is formula. It isn't.

    I will second the drjaygordon website. Search it for "sleep." Best method I've ever seen for transitioning.

    But no feeling bad. The breastmilk DID NOT cause it. I would put own and my son's life on that.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:29 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.