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No romance during sex...

Well, when me and dh first met the sex was always the best every time, well because we had no kids! When we had our first it was ok, not a lot of time, but quickies weren't the norm. Now we have 2 and one on the way and it seems like all we do are quickies. My husband needs sex all the time it seems like ( at least 2x a day if not more) and it was cool before but now I'm tired all the time from taking care of the kids all day. But, it's never anything romantic like before! I understand the quickies but he could at least seduce me, romance me. there's not kissing, nothing! I feel like a prostitute, just bend over and stick it in. I don't even want to have sex anymore. What can I do, we do to make it better? Oh yeah, I did mention it to him and all he had to say was well we don't have time what do you expect. I need some pleasure!!


Asked by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Jun. 3, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Time to start holding it back until you can get him to give into some four play. I went thru this while I was preggers with my 9 yr old and my hubby was working a lot, I felt just like you described yourself as feeling and I told my hubby that and I said "if you are going to screw me like a prostitute then pay me like one" LOL of course that got his attention and we finally worked it out to where he understood I needed a little more romance and fore play and I explained to him fore play doesn't have to be four hours, I'll take four minutes but I have to have something. The best time to have a talk about sex is when you are not attempting the act so when you get some time have the conversation during some down time, not ever before or after sex because it will not register with him. Good luck to you.

    Answer by MrsAJLaw at 6:14 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • 2 times a day is too much! If you space it out it might be more special. I'm sorry.

    Answer by lowencope at 6:08 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • I have the opposite problem! I HATE the romance part. I would much rather just have what my mother calls "hallway sex." It's just a wam bam and it's done... My DH on the other hand is all about candles and music... UGH! I HATE IT!

    Good luck! Sorry I'm no help... But if you get answers, let me know so I can pass them on to my DH!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:09 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • 2 times a day is too much, I would think he was just trying to get off whenever he got a little horny as opposed to making it mean anything. I would talk to him about it, maybe comprimise...?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Getting on here and complaining to a bunch of angry women is going to make your situation seem much worse. You need to have a heart to heart with your hubby. Speak very truthfully and straight forward. Don't leave anything open to interpretation. When you tell him you want romance, be specific and tell him what you mean by that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • Men are selfish and want sex all of the time even if you have additions to the family they don't care as long as they have their sex I don't like it to be this way but it is. I don't understand it if my dh did not want to have sex at that moment I wanted it I would be ok with it but when a man is turned down OMG!!! Talk about throwing a fit they act like children. GL Hang in there!

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 6:23 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • thank you ms law, your answer is most helpful. And LOL @butterfly! you are so right! they are big babies.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Jun. 3, 2010

  • What do you to to encourage romance? Do you guys have the same ideal of romance? How much effort do you put into making your sex life something other than the selfish quickies it appears to be?

    A good, mutually pleasing sex life is not the responsibility of just one partner. It is the responsiblity of both partners.

    If you want romance.. Then be romantic..
    If you want to be woo'd... do some woo'ing
    If you want something other than bend over and stick it in........initiate something other than that..

    We women, sometimes, get caught up in the whole "he isn't like he was before".. But honestly, most of the time, we aren't either. Especiallly after children come into the picture. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at ourselves, our own actions, and how we are approaching an issue. Not just how our husband's are..

    I hope things get better for you :-)

    Answer by pixie_trix at 8:47 PM on Jun. 3, 2010