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what would you do in this situation?

my SO weve been together many years btw. our good friend invited use to her house to drink and hang out for a house warming party of hers. we had a sitter and my So just decided no i dont want to go im tired. which is fine so we didnt go. I get off at 9pm it takes me about 5 min to get home and he calls me at 909 "where are you" so i get home and hes laying in bed going to sleep when my BIL calls him invites him to a bar. so my SO goes... fine, but when I wanted to go out tonight it was a NO... last week he went bowling with a bunch of ppl from work ( i was invited but had to work) i didnt care if he went. he can have fun. then I got invited to a friends house after he already got home i wanted to go and he said no how about they come over here (which they did and i still had fun) it seems as though anytime i want to do something.. its an issue but when he does its all fine and dandy!! Double standard????how should

 
MomNbabyGirl009

Asked by MomNbabyGirl009 at 12:36 AM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Communication is the key to a working relationship.
    cristinaberger

    Answer by cristinaberger at 12:37 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I handle this? it really irritates me. he does have a bit of an anger issue which he knows and we are looking into getting him counseling. i dont want to approach him in a b*tchy way and start a huge argument. but i need to get my point across. hes very hard to talk to with any problems we have. its like pulling teeth. Im at my witts (sp?) end with this issue and him acting like this.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 12:37 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • is this just me being irritated? or do i have a right to be? i feel like im being a bitch but wth man? i deserve some fun time too!
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 12:39 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • go out with ur friends and if he doesnt like it oh well tell him its just as fair as him going out all the time
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • i understand being irritated. i personally do not allow my SO give me permission to go out. however, i dont go out very often and he does go out more. but thats a whole different issue. i do understand where you are coming from. however, i would have said, well honey i feel like going with my friends and getting out of the house. i need a break. or something like that. you could even bring up the fact that he already went out that day or that week...whatever is relevant.

    i also completely understand having difficulties communicating with your SO. my SO and I are having communication issues presently.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 12:47 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • well the invite was for both of us, and i wanted to go BUT it was on a thursday he works in the AM.. so i just told her no.
    if i would have known he was going out tonight i would have just said im going.

    it IS a control thing and i dont know how to break that control with him... its VERY irritating. i know i should just go if i want to do something but at the same time id would DEF start an argument its almost like if i dont go "its an argument saved"

    bad thinking... i know.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 12:49 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • You have every right to be irritated. It's nice for you to do things around the house with your friends, but you're entitled to go out too. Maybe you can talk with him and rotate nights every two weeks he gets Weds night out with his friends and then you get Thursday night out with yours.

    What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he won't watch the kids call a friend or family and ask them to baby sit.
    bubblycute

    Answer by bubblycute at 12:53 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I think counseling will be good for you, too. You'll learn how to properly communicate with him.

    Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Maybe you shouldn't be going out so much without each other. I understand you want to have fun, but can't you have fun together and if one can't go for what ever reason then you both stay home with your daughter. Going out is obviously, already causing problems and if your both going out and drinking eventually it's going to cause even more problems. JMO!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • We actually dont go OUT often. if we ever hang out with friends its mostly at our place. we just hang out with a couple of frinds

    very rarely do we go out but when we do its HIM... and not me.

    i actually said well how about we do couples counseling and we can talk about your anger problem too ( in my mind thinking kill 2 birds with 1 stone) but didnt come out directly and say that.. but MAYBE i should!
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 12:58 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

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