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Am I wrong to feel offended that my 16 year old daughter has been excluded from my husbands cousins wedding???

Before you answer please know that the wedding was presented as a "Kid Free" Wedding. However I later found out that there were 3 other younger children invited. In the past I have hosted Christmas dinners in our home for my husbands family (including this cousin and her parents), where I have done days of preperation, cooking & clean up to accomidate 30+ family members. My husband tells me I should just get over it and not take it personally. HOW CAN I NOT??????

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Treawest17

Asked by Treawest17 at 7:37 AM on Jun. 4, 2010 in About CafeMom

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Answers (15)
  • Maybe these other 3 kids are closer to the couple getting married. I have only been to 1 "kid free" wedding (honestly, I hate the concept) and there were 4 young kids but they were the brides nieces and the groom's brother. These kids couldn't not go, they were immediate family to the couple. The bride was my cousin but the niece that were there were her sister's kids. I didn't take it personally.
    pipermomofash

    Answer by pipermomofash at 7:44 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • They are cousins as well, the only diffrence is my daughter is not blood related. She is my daughter from a previous marriage, that my husband adopted 3 years ago.
    Treawest17

    Answer by Treawest17 at 7:51 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • If your daughter is close with the bride, then I would feel upset. If she is not close with the bride, then I would let it go. When planning a wedding you do have to cut the guest list off somewhere and sometimes people feel hurt or slighted that they were not included. Maybe the parent/s of the other cousins made a huge fuss and the bride included the kids to keep the peace. It is her wedding and she is allowed to invite who she wants and does not have to answer to anyone on it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • They feel 16 years is a "kid".
    Anyways, are they big drinkers and at the very least trying to not have children around that? Or trying to cut costs to invite adults rather than adding children? I've never been invited to a kid free wedding. My cousin is getting married in a few weeks and all of us have kids and babies, but I am not taking the babies to the ceremony. Just the reception, unless I find a sitter LOL so I won't have to chase them around.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 8:02 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • You need to get over it like your husband says. First, it's your husband's family not yours, so if he isn't offended then you shouldn't be. Second, everything that has to do with a wedding is up to the bride and groom. How, when, and where a couple chooses to marry and who they choose to invite is up to them and no one really has the right to be offended by it.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 8:27 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I agree that it is her weeding she can do what she wants, however it is my life and my child she is excluding. Thus I choose not to attend, and I also told my husband that I will no longer host Christmas dinner in our home. As it is our (my daughter's included) home, and I do not have to answer to no one either.

    As far as heavy drinkers, not a chance one beer or one glass of wine and most of them would be on the floor. LOL If it were truly a "KIDS FREE" wedding, I would understand. I can not however understand how someone can be so heartless and selective.
    Treawest17

    Answer by Treawest17 at 8:27 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • It wouldn't bother me plus would save me the cost of the dress!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:44 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • my wedding was "kid free" except for the ringbearer and flower girl, both of who were children of groomsmen.
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 8:47 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • My wedding only had 3 children invited to it. They were my husbands 1 year old neice and my two nephews age 7 and 11. There was no way I could invite all of my cousins and my husband cousins kids there would have been way too many people. When planning a wedding you have to draw the line somewhere. I would not be offended.
    I think it is very nice that you host dinner parties at your home and you should continue to do so if you enjoy it. But you have to realize that a weddding is much more expensive to throw.
    cherylw993

    Answer by cherylw993 at 8:52 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • my wedding reception venue held 100 people... that was it... so if came between inviting a 16 year old, or a close family friend, I'd pick the family friend
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 9:07 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

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