Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you tell a four year old the difference between truth and lie?

I have noticed lately my daughter has been lieing to me, just over little things but i want to let her know that she don't lie to mommy. How can i approch this serious subject with a four year old?

Answer Question
 
TulsaMommy

Asked by TulsaMommy at 8:19 AM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sit down with her and show her say, a red ball. Tell her "This ball is green and square." She will probably correct you. Ask he if she thinks Mommy knows it is really red and round. She thinks you know all so of course she will say yes. Then you explain that when you tell her something like the ball is green & square when you KNOW it is red and round that is lying or not telling the truth. The truth is the ball is red and round. Then give her a hypothetical example. Like, tell her a story of her breaking something and the 2 choices of what to tell mommy (a lie & the truth) and tell her which is which and that the truth is the RIGHT thing and to not lie .
    SoniaL

    Answer by SoniaL at 8:25 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • has she seen pinocchio yet?
    i have to ask my son, did that really happen? is that the truth? i have one son with an active imagination, and i get pretty serious when it comes to the truth. he gets in big trouble for lying...but gets praise when he tells the truth.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:04 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • http://www.parenting.com/Common/category.jsp?categoryID=2155&typeID=900&genID=5  (5 articles on lying)


    "Very young kids don't know the difference between truth and fiction." In fact, this type of lying can be a sign of good things. "Preschoolers with higher IQ scores are more likely to lie," says Angela Crossman, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York, who researched the subject.


    *These quotes were from: http://www.parenting.com/article/Child/Behavior/Why-Kids-Lie-Age-by-Age


    Some lying is related to imagination, etc. They really can't understand it yet, but there are things you can do. Check all 5 stories.

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:41 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Realize that the articles don't say NOT to do anything, but to realizing where they are coming from will help you guide your child into the path to realizing what is truth, fiction, lies, etc.

    Many of us have said to another person, "Wow that a beautiful outfit!" when it's not, or that we were "glad you stopped by" when it was an inconvenient time, or "No, I hadn't noticed that you've gained weight." These are social situations and deal with not hurting another's feelings.

    BTW, you'll likely wonder why your child starts "stealing", but again, they don't understand the concepts of possession versus ownership, and after all, we've taught them to "share", so why isn't "sharing" from the grocery store candy aisle or "sharing" from brother's piggy bank or your jewelry box acceptable? All of these things take time for them to grasp, and we just have to keep reinforcing the right things, but w/o a heavy hand. Good luck!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:51 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Many of us have said to another person, "Wow that a beautiful outfit!" when it's not, or that we were "glad you stopped by" when it was an inconvenient time, or "No, I hadn't noticed that you've gained weight." These are social situations and deal with not hurting another's feelings.

    BTW, you'll likely wonder why your child starts "stealing", but again, they don't understand the concepts of possession versus ownership, and after all, we've taught them to "share", so why isn't "sharing" from the grocery store candy aisle or "sharing" from brother's piggy bank or your jewelry box acceptable? All of these things take time for them to grasp, and we just have to keep reinforcing the right things, but w/o a heavy hand. Good luck!

    Took the words right out of my mouth! Although its not something to ignore, remember to take into consideration your 4 year olds reality is not going to be the same as yours.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 11:42 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Most 4 year olds do not understand the difference between a lie and the truth. When a 4 year old "lies" they are telling a story and don't understand that lying is not a good thing. They will learn the concept in time, usually by the time they are in 2nd grade. Some learn sooner, but not every child learns at the same pace. You can talk to your child about lying and how it hurts people and can get innocent people in trouble. Ask, "what if brother or sister said YOU broke their toy when you didn't?" That would be a lie and could get you in trouble. It's a difficult concept to teach.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:49 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN