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Helicopter Parenting...!~?

Ok, so I just head this term this morning and sadly, I think me and my husband fit this profile. Although our only son is 2-1/2 - I am confused how to draw a line with him.. My husband is very over protective of him even falling down and he always says "be careful" and I've talked to him about this SO many times telling him this is going to teach him NOT to do things more than anything - he agree's and is working on it however I am at fault too - I won't even let him stay anywhere over night or be watched by any one other than my Mom but I still won't let him sleep over at her house. he is already very clingy and whining and I KNOW that's my fault too but we are working on that too but I never wanted to be that mom who pushed her child away or didn't comfort him when he needs it or handed her child off at any chance but I don't want to smoother him either.. I am confused where the line is though


Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Jun. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I love reading Lenore's blog. Go to google and search free range parenting. It is very interesting. I try very hard to not hover. Free range does not mean you don't care or don't have age appropriate limits. It does mean understanding your job is to provide age appropriate experiences without standing by to direct their every move. Such as being comfortable with letting your eight year old play in the back yard by themselves.

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:29 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • it seems you do know where the line is, you just dont want to look at it. you say you know some of the things you and dh are doing are not ok, and you know it can be different, so make those changes. I am not bashing anyone but parents that are overprotective like that are really doing their kids a diservice because they cant figure anything out on their own. does that make sense? like if no one ever let you try to play baseball, how would ya know if you were good, made you feel good, liked it even? I think it confuses kids because they feel they need mom or dad allt he time, and thats trouble for everyone. good luck and do some soul searching on how you want your son to be-independant and not afraid of the world or....?

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:10 AM on Jun. 4, 2010


    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 11:11 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • There is no right or wrong way when it comes to that in my opinion. I too have found myself to be a little overprotective and as my son got older, I've made myself consciencly relax about things a little more...wanting him to be a little more independant, knowing that letting him learn from some mistakes himself is sometimes the best way to learn. But still...I can't ever fully just let go,lol. I'm always telling my 10 year old to be careful of this or that and he rolls his eyes at me about it these days,lol. Our 15 month old...I still won't let anyone else watch her,lol. She's had her older sister watch her twice for a couple hours since she's been alive and thats it.I know I should but I just don't have anything that great to do to need a sitter,lol. We live in a wicked world, its our right as mommas to be worried.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:12 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • It's hard to say where the line is...everyone has a different opinion of that answer. I am more the Free-Range type of parent. Complete opposite of Helicopter, although, I am also an Attachment type parent. Yes, they seem contradictory I know. LOL

    I would just say:
    Look at the parenting styles of others around you. Find a few people whose style you like and who seem more like what you want to be and try to emulate for a bit until you feel like you can do it on your own.
    Try to research different techniques and styles and pick and choose what you like and put them into practice.

    After all this, you will have decided on where you both feel the line is for you.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:12 AM on Jun. 4, 2010