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If your dad could easily afford it and you were his only daughter would you expect him to pay for some of your wedding?

I am frustrated. I always thought once I got married my dad would help out. He makes really good money and his house is paid off so it wouldn't put him out in any way. He said he won't help because he didn't with any of my brothers. I know I probably sound horrible but I can't help feeling this way. One of my brothers eloped without telling anyone so my dad didn't even have the chance to offer. My other brother got pretty much everything paid from his wife's side. Plus my mom (parents are divorced) helped him out. But now my moms situation is different and she can't afford to pay anything for mine. Sorry I guess I'm just venting....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • The bride's parents traditionally pay for the wedding. So, yeah, I would expect him to pay for it, though I would be totally fine with other ideas if they seemed reasonable (like if he couldn't afford it, or if I made ten times what he did, or if we were generally a very nontraditional family and he made other assumptions, etc). Of course, these days, we are moving from traditionally to nowadays, and it can be hard to predict what someone will do, especially when your folks are separated.
    I am sorry for your frustrations!
    FelipesMom

    Answer by FelipesMom at 11:27 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I wouldn't expect it... but I would surely ask if he could help. I understand your frustration... my MIL hands everything to my SIL but would NEVER list a finger to help my DH. I hope it all goes well for you... sometimes you just have to vent it out so you can let it go!! ;o)

    Morgain

    Answer by Morgain at 11:25 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • im not the only daughter , i have a younger sister too.. but yes, my parents did pay for my wedding. and it was a nice wedding
    its ok to vent. ask him nicely , he will help u out. after all you're his only daughter. im sure he loves u dearly
    cookie269

    Answer by cookie269 at 11:26 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Sorry to hear your frustration and pain about this situation. By tradition your parents are suppose to pay for your wedding and not your brothers weddings because the brides parents are suppose to pay for the wedding. I do hope that this situation doesn't affect your relationship with your dad, life is short. As a former daddy's little girl, I can feel your pain Dear. Hope things work out well for you and that in the end you have the wedding of your dreams.
    MrsAJLaw

    Answer by MrsAJLaw at 11:27 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • OP HERE: Thanks everyone. Even knowing someone understands and doesn't think I'm being greedy makes me feel better. Cookie- I did ask and he told me no because it wouldn't be fair. He actually bought me new tires for my car once and later told me I needed to pay him for them so it wouldn't be unfair to my brothers. I was a little irritated as he insisted on the spendy ones and if I had known I was gonna have to pay him back I wouldn't have bought those ones. Anyways getting off track.....lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • No, I would not EXPECT it. I WOULD appreciate it, but I'd appreciate even more that he had the money socked away for himself.

    My parents DID pay for my wedding, and it was expensive for the time. But ya know what? Nearly 17 years later? I wish they'd just invested the money instead.

    It's hard to see that when you're young and a bride to be, and I would not have seen it myself then. But my wedding would have been equally memorable had I held it at a local park with nothing more than a cake and ice cream reception.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

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