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If your dad could easily afford it and you were his only daughter would you expect him to pay for some of your wedding?

I am frustrated. I always thought once I got married my dad would help out. He makes really good money and his house is paid off so it wouldn't put him out in any way. He said he won't help because he didn't with any of my brothers. I know I probably sound horrible but I can't help feeling this way. One of my brothers eloped without telling anyone so my dad didn't even have the chance to offer. My other brother got pretty much everything paid from his wife's side. Plus my mom (parents are divorced) helped him out. But now my moms situation is different and she can't afford to pay anything for mine. Sorry I guess I'm just venting....
Posted in another section....


Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Yes, I would be upset. A similar thing happened to me when I was about to go to college. I had assumed that my parents had some money for me and at the last minute, they were like 'what money! We don't have money to send you! You have to take out your own loans!" That's fine and I understand but I think parents should make these things clear from the outset. If you dont' plan on paying for a wedding, just say so. In our case, my parents paid for the wedding and my in-laws paid for the booze, rehearsal dinner,and engagement party.

    Answer by danielp at 12:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I think I would be very hurt

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Your father is a selfish man!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • he probably wouldnt. he would probably not like the man i married. he never got to meet him tough. but my dad was not one to pay for us to have things we didnt need. like if we wanted a car we had to get a job and work to earn the money.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster, I would be more hurt than anything.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Well I am from Philadelphia and I am Italian. Don't know if that matters much but around here the father pays 100% if they can afford to. Usually the wife's father pays for the wedding. My sister's first wedding was paid for by my father and he also remodeled part of her house. I went away and got married but my father paid off my credit card debt and I have never charged a thing since. I know people whose parents took out loans to pay for their children's weddings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I would be hurt that he isnt willing to help his only daughter, but agian plan what you can afford have a great time and live happily, lucky you have parents I have none..

    Answer by mememecassie at 12:26 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Men don't view weddings like some women view weddings. I can understand you feeling hurt, but try to remember your Dad will never view your wedding like you do and he will never think it's his responsibility to pay for it. Hopefully he'll at least give you a nice wedding gift, but if not he's still your Dad.

    I persoanlly see excessive spending on weddings as a waste, and when my daughter's get married I don't intend to go into debt giving them a one day fairy tale. I might help them with a downpayment on a house or something, but a wedding? No way!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Anon 1219- You are off your rocker if you think $60,000 IS CHEAP! My whole wedding cost less than half your gown!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Oh my goodness, as an adult, I don't expect anything financially of anyone - regardless of their financial status! I think the whole parents paying for the wedding thing is completely outdated anyway. It was started when women usually didn't work and didn't have any real money of their own to contribute towards their wedding.

    I'm sorry. i just feel in this day and age to have such a sense of entitlement on such a large expense like a wedding is just outrageous and little selfish. If you work, save and plan a wedding within your means. People do it every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

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