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A great guy with a huge secret

I met an amazing guy, my car broke down he bought it from me fixed it and sold it back, 4 months weve been hanging out hes amazing from head to toe, hes great we get along great hes good with my daughter and his children are wonderful, heres the catch I new he had the kids mom living with him, but they are married... however they sleep alone, and hes not happy, weve talked about this ive even tried to help him fix things with her... Hes affraid shell take the kids and he will only get them once in awhile, ive tried to reasurre him thats not always how it works, sexually weve done nothing but kiss, i just dont know what to do, hes not using me I give him nothing He has changed my oil and given me 100.00 when i was in need. He texts me 24/7 his 4 yr old isnt shy she talks, if i had a man textin sumone during the nite id be suspicious theres nothing, hes even walked away when things have gotten hot, he dont wanna hurt us either

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • He will break your heart in the long run because he's being dishonest with everyone.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:25 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • same question, same answer
    shame on you for knowingly being the other woman
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:20 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Cool it until he really is 100% available man, and even then wait until he's had time to get over it. You're just asking for problems getting involved with him at this point.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • i agree with the previous posters. come on now, you already know the answer to this. leave him alone until he is a free man. honestly i believe he is full of crap and just told you a lame excuse. if he wanted to be divorced, he would already be. tell him to man up and finish the business with his wife. seriously, why would you want a guy who doesnt close one door before he opens the next one. but of course youre not going to listen to us and youre going to have an affair with him and once that blows up in your face, you will come on here and make a post about it. the ball is in your court. and if he does divorce the wife, give it a couple of months before you jump into a relationship with this guy. you dont want to be the rebound girl, or do you?
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 12:32 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • guys I did not ask to be insulted or made to feel that way, iam not in a relationship with this guy and have no MEANS to be a rebound girl. Iam a single mom with little time on my hands working 2 jobs and in school by no means am I a home wrecker, thats exactly why iam here asking for advice on how to deal with this, iam not asking you to say stay or leave Iam asking what is an easy way we both have children and NO I didnt know he was married until recently when i was told, other than that he has ben completly honest with the situation, would it be wrong to be his friend? our kids have grown to be friends and I have even tried to contanct the wife to talk to her, I dont blame him 3 kids to lose and see everyother weekend and pay childsupport i wouldnt leave either if it were seeing my kids daily...... can i get sum real advice?
    mememecassie

    Answer by mememecassie at 12:39 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I would NOT be content to be 'the other woman' - I would tell him he needs to get his life together and make decisons-- is he going to stay with her or is he going to have a relationship with me? I would tell him he can't have both, and I would give him XX time to make his decision. If he does choose to divorce the wife I would take the relationship with him very slowly and not rush into anything (you don't want to be the "rebound" fling). But be prepared, he may like things as they are and not want to rock the boat. I would not let him use the kids as an excuse-- that is why people hire lawyers and set up custody /visitation rights.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  •  by no means am I a home wrecker, thats exactly why iam here asking for advice on how to deal with this, iam not asking you to say stay or leave Iam asking what is an easy way NO I didnt know he was married until recently when i was told, other than that he has ben completly honest with the situation, would it be wrong to be his friend? YES!


    You are admitting to kissing a married man (it's probably gone further and you don't want to say).  You know you are the other woman.  You are taking what he should be giving his wife.  He is probably going through a midlife crisis and you are his escape.  You are using him for what he can do for you and he is using you for what you do for him.  You should drop the whole thing and find someone that is not married or involved with someone else. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I don't think he's giving you the whole story. If he's afraid his wife would keep the kids from him, chances are she isn't aware of how bad things are between the two of them. If I were you, I would let thing "great guy" go. If his marriage is truly over, he and his wife will move out, live seperately and begin a divorce process. I wouldn't want to become entangled in that. Walk away and don't talk to him anymore.Maybe that will wake him up and push him to make a desision as well...either leave his wife once and for all or work things out with her. You can't help a man and wife with thier marriage, they need to do it on thier own....especially when the two of you have some type of chemistry together.Think about it.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:58 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • again the insults I have not gone farther with this man why assume im sum ho without asking, for the sake of his children and wife Iam not dumb, honestly i do think about her and them, Iam not out for a piece of ass and take any relationship slow let alone sleep with a married man hello iam not a ho I got into this sittuation not knowing he was married again asking for ways to help make it right not make me feel worse.... If I had parents id go to them for help they wouldnt insult me but they have passed away.... Im looking for the right path maybe someone has been through this before.... help not insults please more answers like the 12:42 one would be nice
    mememecassie

    Answer by mememecassie at 1:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • why would you want to be "friends" with someone who didnt tell you he was married from jump street. i believe there is more to the story, hes not telling it all. why would you try to befriend his wife when you know you have feelings for her husband?? walk away and find you some female friends with kids. i never understood a single person befriending a married person. when i was single, the last thing on my mind was to befriend married men ,unless it was work related.. also, telling the truth does not = bashing.
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 1:07 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

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