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3.5yr old beating herself up over not being a good writer!! ??

So my 3.5yo is interested in learning to write. But she gets SO frustrated when she doesnt make it perfectly! She will cry & get mad, and its soo sad to see her beat herself up so harshly!
I try to tell her " it will take time & practice, learning to write should be fun for you & you shouldnt be so hard on yourself. It takes time!"
We dont push her at all. SHE wants to learn writing. I am there to teach her. I just dont know how to help her not be so hard on herself.

Any advice on how to help her cope with her emotions?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My daughter is this way. She is a perfectionist... and sometimes not physically ready to keep up with her mental wants.

    When she starts to get frustrated- you need to catch it right away. Redirect to something a bit different, another letter or a different utensil to use... at this age, redirection is a great way to keep them moving forward and not becoming overly emotional about one thing. She's going to find that she many NOT be able to do what she wants, she's still small. Becoming ok with that is a hard lesson in life.

    Good luck.

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 3:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • She's obviously not ready so distract her with other things like playing

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • OP here, to Anon
    She can write alot of simple letters I H L T Q O.... And what she is writing (she is wanting to do her name!) is legible! Its not just scribbles or something .. But for example on a B if she doesnt connect it 100% on the humps, suddenly its " I cant do it!" Even though clearly she has written a B..
    This is how she has always been, with everything new! Even when she was learning to crawl she would get SO mad! Or learning to dress herself she would throw her clothes & cross her little arms...
    When she is ready to learn something & goes for it, Im not going to ignore it. Thats ambition. Im not cutting that down especially if its something reasonable.. Shes not trying to write a novel. she just wants to learn print..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Ok, so if you have it all figured out then why even ask the question? I too think she isn't ready and you need to redirect her to coloring or drawing shapes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Stop pushing her to write! There's no reason a 3.5 year old would be interested in writing at all, unless someone was "encouraging" her to do so! Redirect her to AGE APPROPRIATE activities...writing isn't one of them. I wish parents would stop pushing their children to grow up too fast.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • OP HERE..
    I AM NOT PUSHING MY DAUGHTER!!! How am I pushing her?! Im not telling her HEY LETS PRACTICE... She asks "mommy how do I draw a (letter).. and I would show her... Did I force her into walking, crawling, climbing too?! ALL those things frustrated her too!
    She has a drawer full of crayons, paper & coloring books .....

    And Im not asking anyone if she should be writing.. Im asking How do I help comfort her when she is hard on herself..
    LIKE IVE SAID --- ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO DO & IS HAVING A HARD TIME WITH SHE GETS MAD AT! It could be a new puzzle (she loves puzzles).. It could be trying to put on new shoes for the first time.. Should I stop her from TRYING ANYTHING NEW just because she gets frustrated? NO

    Im asking HOW Should I help her deal with this frustration!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • That's ridiculous anon :15 My 25 month old is always trying to write letters and sometimes she'll get a something that looks like a P or maybe an O and she gets all excited. But it's ALL her interest! I can assure you I've never tried to get my 2 year-old to write lol! Maybe I should stop telling her great job when she shows me the letter she just wrote... I wouldn't want to encourage her too much!

    Answer by Blueliner at 12:33 AM on Jun. 5, 2010