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Advice on my MIL , I am going crazy.

So my MIL is driving me crazy. My husband and I have been together for 10 yrs and we have a 14 month old son. Well we never got along before my son anyways because she just did not like me. When I had my son , things changed a little. She wanted to be nice and offer her advice. Well thanks but she was just plain rude. Breastfeeding is gross, I hold him to much, I need to go back to work, she wants to keep him for a week, blah, blah. Well it finally cooled down. I am currently a stay at home mom and she hates the idea although my DH makes enough money for me to do so. Well guess what, I am pregnant. DH told her and she fn flipped out, and did not call him for a week. Then calls invites us to dinner for tonight and goes into a long speech that I need to find a job and put my son in daycare or something. He did not even want to tell me but did. Now we are supposed to go to dinner tonight and I am gonna lose my mind . HELP!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Just smile and thank her for her advice but tell her that you and dh have made the decisions that you think are right for your family. She had her turn. It's your turn now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:21 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I hope for your mother in laws sake she does not serve anything that requires a knife! :)
    Crystal1124

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Come up with some lines you can use to respond to any questions or arguments that are thrown your way, and don't expand on those:
    "Thanks for your concern."
    "We have decided this is what is best for our child."
    "I can see how you might be worried about that."

    And, don't forget you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom any time she starts to annoy you! GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Hubby needs to have a REALLLLY serious talk with her and stand up for you.
    He needs to lay it on the line "Be nice or we will NOT see you, and that includes not seeing the grandkids"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Hey I would not wait for hubby to speak to her I would tell her this is not serving anyone and if you wish to rehash everything and discuss it I will be here to listen but if your only going to bash and control we can leave it alone. You are going to also have to sit your husband down and tell him whats about to happen no reason you should fight be polite and tell her this is your family and this is how it is. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:18 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • OP here
    I just do not know what to do . I am the quiet type so I don't start things with her. Mostly I just hold my tongue and DH says take it with a grain of salt. We got ready to go over there tonight and DH called to tell her we were leaving and she says OOPS I forgot I invited you over we went out of town for the weekend. She is a very outspoken person, totally opposite of me, and sometimes I think she is just trying to help but most of the time the comments are so rude I think she means to hurt me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Do what I did. Tell her that you will do what is best for your son and the new baby and it's none of her business. I'm the quiet type too. Usually. I had to hear my MIL's comments about not wanting me to go back to work and put my first baby in daycare. It was just an idea me and DH kicked around anyway and decided not to do. Anything and everything she complained about. Until finally she called one morning and DS had eaten and gone back to sleep. Of course DH was sleeping in. She told me that I was letting DS sleep too much and I needed to wake him up. I said, "No I will not. He knows when he needs to sleep." She got off the phone. Every time after I have confronted her and that is what it takes. It's hard but that kind of behavior is completely out of line.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • you just need to be firm but not rude and let her know that you appreciate her concern but disagree and you and your husband will make decisions about what works best for your family and how to parent your children. tell her if she continues her criticism that it will interfere with your ability to have a relationship and you are hoping that won't happen.

    one thing that someone taught me years ago to do if someone is insulting/criticizing is just say "thank you for sharing" - it takes the wind out of the sails without engaging. you can just go on about your business. you don't have to defend yourself or try to convince her - it's pointless.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • i wish i had ur mil instead of mine shes always telling me my dh her own son isnt good enough for me and tells him im not good enough for him
    spreads rumors that im a bad mom i sleep all day dont feed my son and all kinds of other bs
    shes nuts i hate mils
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

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