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Advice needed... please???

I'm tired of getting hurt by guys... this time I want things to be different. I have been reading he's just not that into you and trying to get my mind to think differently. In one part it says that if a guy really likes you, then he will contact you. I don't want to be the chaser anymore... it seems like I am the one who does that everytime I start liking someone and in the end, I always end up alone. Everytime I stop with the communication, I never hear from them again. Well, there is a new guy that I like and we have texted a couple of times, usually I am the one who starts the convo. I don't want to get hurt. Do you really think that it's true about the whole, if he really likes you then he will contact you? How should I go about this... please give me any advice on this that you have... I can't bare to get hurt again by my actions of being the chaser and leading myself on. Thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Of course he will contact you if he's interested. If you persue a man and he really isn't that into you he may think you're easy and use your for sex. :(

    Read "The Rules." That book totally changed my dating life for the better.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 10:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Read "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" That is a great book. That might help you a little more than the book that you are reading... There is a website you can go to to read some stuff online by the author.

    http://home.marsvenus.com/

    Hope it helps hun.. Good luck..
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 10:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Men in general enjoy the chase. So yes make him chase you and if he doesn't let it go. He will call you if he wants to and when he does, act like you are having so much fun being single. It will intrigue him.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 10:43 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I liked Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". Good read and great tips.

    And I think it's true, if he really wants to be with you and pursue a relationship he will call you. I don't think you should have to be the one always contacting him. If you start to feel like you are only the one calling him or texting him, stop. There are plenty of other men out there and he may not be the one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • call him at times too. i mean, if my BF had that mentality, we wouldnt be together.. i dont call people, i dont text people. i email them, but other than that- nope. even now- 2 years into our relationship, i STILL have issues when i call/text my BF. lol

    be real with him. dont be the chaser or the chasee.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Oh this is ridiculous! No book is going to help you find someone.

    If you like to do the chasing, then chase. Chase until you find a man who likes being chased. Chase fat guys, thin guys, rich guys, poor guys. Practice makes perfect.

    If you want a relationship where you can call 35 times a day and he's cool with it, then call 35 times a day. If he's not cool with it, move on to the next man.

    There are plenty of single people in the world looking for a mate. You don't have to change yourself or do what some dumb book says. You can find someone who appreciates you just as you are. You just have to keep looking. It's totally okay to go on 100 first dates and 0 second dates. That's 100 men you have eliminated.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:58 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • he's just not that into you does point out some things in a great way that a lot of women need to hear. i glanced at some suggestions - the rules? everything i heard about that is about game-playing, although some women might need a little guidance in not giving away too much too soon. men are from mars... read part of it and wanted to throw up - i'm not into gender stereotypes. i'm sure not all will agree with my suggestions either but they are: are you the one for me? (this is a book that helps you take a look at patterns in your relationships and making better choices). also, falling in love for all the right reasons by neil clark warren (guy who started eharmony) - this has some suggestions about choosing someone right for you, character defects to avoid, etc. - really great book. mainly it sounds like you need help being more discerning and not giving your heart away so easily.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:37 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • It's true that if a man wants to talk to you, he will call or text. If he doesn't, then he isn't very interested. Don't chase men. There is no reason to do that. There are a lot of them and very few are actually worth that kind of energy. And the truth is, from every man I've heard say anything on this subject, don't like to be chased. They like to do the chasing. You might try not texting or calling and see what he does. Let him realize you have a life too and better things to do than chase him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I wasn't saying the book was going to help find a man or anything like that... The book that I suggested helps understand what men and women think. It's a great book to get insight of what happens.
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 12:47 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

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