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Need help!!! (( Please ))

Okay, so my boyfriends mother came to us about 4 nights ago and asked me something that I am having a really hard time making a decision about. She asked me if she could "rent" my womb.... She can't have anymore kids and her husband wants a kid. ( She is about 20 years + older.) If she were to get pregnant, it would kill her and the baby... Which we so don't want. I would be covered for all medical bills and she offered money for me doing it. I would love to be able to do that for her after seeing the hurt in her eyes for asking, and I just don't know what I really should do. It's selfless I know and a great gift to give someone and I care for this woman. What would you guys do? I will be around the child and I just get attached to a baby in my tummy... But I think that since it wont be with the person I love I wont be "too" attached... Please help!!

 
Michele068

Asked by Michele068 at 10:43 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (2,605 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I think its a pretty selfless and kind thing to do. I myself would do it but it would have to be for someone I was really close too. I think you should really soul search on this and make a list of pros and cons. Its a great thing to be able to give someone such a special gift but it come with drawbacks so think carefully and also research the process. I heard it can be pretty grueling so if you do decide to do it make sure you know what going to happen
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 11:22 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Adoption is what she needs to do. You are already attached. Honey dont do it. Save your self for your own child.
    MaMaPercy2010

    Answer by MaMaPercy2010 at 10:45 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I have 2 babies already.. I am not ready for another one yet. They can't do adoption either. They have tried.
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 10:46 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Why can't they adopt? Honestly I think the situation is too "weird" being that is your boyfriend's mother. Maybe they should hire a private surrogate.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 10:48 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I personally couldn't be a surrogate. If you're having doubts then the answer is NO. It's not something you can undo.

    The hardest thing is temporary: the conversation where you turn her down. Be very honest when you tell her about your doubts. Hard talks are easier when you just tell it like it really is.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:48 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • It isn't really weird for me to do that for his mother.

    It is really hard to make a decision and to talk to her about it cause it hurts her that she can't give her husband a child anymore. I know they are adults they can make their own choices and she decided to ask me. I find it wonderful that she is comfortable enough to come to me..

    I don't know, I still have a lot of thinking to do. But just wanted others opinion on the situation.
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 10:51 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • wow that sure is a huge favor to ask. there are women out there who sign up for such things. if they want a baby that bad, does it really matter what the dna is about? i'm with the other posters who suggest adoption. or tell her you'll help her find a reputable surrogate. personally there is no way i could carry a child in my womb and hand it over to someone. i admire people that have that courage and are able to give the gift of surrogacy or an adopted child to others, but it's not for me. being pregnant is freakin' HARD. my first pregnancy was a breeze, but not so much this time. the only person i'm going through all this for is my own child which i will also take on the hard work of raising. don't get guilted into such a huge decision. unless your heart is screaming yes, then just say no.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:55 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I think it would be a wonderful thing for you to do, but if you're not sure that you could only play the role of "sister", then you need more time to think on it or just reject it. If you do decide to do it, make sure you find out about surrogacy laws in your state.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • yeah... woah... back up - they can't adopt? um... you might want to consider the reason why... and have they tried going outside the US? if they've got money like it sounds i understand there are plenty of russian, chinese, haitian, african, etc. babies that need homes. but you already said you're not ready... so take care of your babies. something isn't right about this.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:56 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • talk to your bf about it.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 10:57 PM on Jun. 4, 2010