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Has anyone been cheated on by someone they"ve been with for years? Did you forgive them and stay, if so, how did you overcome it and find it in you to stay, what were your reasons??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Jun. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Well when i was cheated on, it was by my first love and we were together for over 2 years..... I stayed because I loved him, but I wasnt able ot trust him and it drove both of us crazy, everytime he wasnt with me I would literally get sick to my stomach and wonder what he was doing and who he was with,.... 4 months later he ended it and it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders...

    My aunt's husband cheated on her and got the other woman pregnant ( same time that she was pregnant with their 3rd child).... I remember her saying she couldnt stand the thought of being with him and she left him too... but after a few weeks she ( told me) that she just realized she didnt want to give up her dream of being with him with grey hair ... and they went to marriage counsiling..... and that was 15 years ago, now they act like teenagers lol, and go away together almost every weekend.
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 11:20 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • Mine cheated for the 1st time last week.We are going on 5 years
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • THIS IS MY POST, BUT I COULDN;T GO BACK AND EDIT, so I wanted to give you guys a little history..
    I found out that he was cheating with one of his "friends" through a text message. After finding this out, I checked his facebook, and his profile picture is just of himself and our son, absolutely NO PICTURES OF ME, and it doesn't show anything for relationship status. The posts went back to Jan. 7th, of having relationship problems, and saying "don't know what to do relationship wise, and most recent was April 19th "when is it okay to move on?" When I found out about the other girl, he said he was starting to have feelings for her, and that they have good communication and laugh together. I told him if you want to end it, lets end it, I don't want want to waist anymore time in a relationship thats a lie! He said he wants to stay because he loves me, and if he didn't love me, he wouldn't be trying to work this out. TRUST IS GONE
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to be there when there is no trust. For me, this would be a dealbreaker. I don't buy a person saying they still love their partner if they are cheating physically, through text, email, facebook, myspace, whatever. It's still cheating especially if there are emotions involved. His having no pictures of you on his FB page says a hell of a lot. What are you going to do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • My bf cheated n gave me hpv. I stay mainly bc I dnt wanna hav to deal with this issue with a new man n because I want my son 2 hav his father in his life. He trust is gone n I hav little patience with him n I'm rude as hell when I talk 2 him. He feels like sh*t bc of wat he did(I was preg when I found out) n doesn't go out anymore really but I dnt care. He's my glorified babysitter till I finish nursing school then his ass is GONE! and I'm talkin to another guy online who knows my situation n my boyfriend knows!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I tried to understand what had happened in our marriage to push my dh to do such a thing. I read books and online materials about coping after you've caught your spouse having an emotional affair.

    I tried to see clearly and not to screw up my focus with my personal feelings of hurt and helplessness. As I dug deeper into the issue, I started to realize that my dh was not the only one at fault. In fact, I think I had an important role that led him to do such a thing. I was the one who drove him away by ignoring many of his needs.

    This realization helped me to have a more in-depth understanding of my relationship with my dh and how I should fix it. I really wanted to go back to how we had been, so I decided to push the past behind us. There was irrevocable damage in our relationship but should it drive us apart? I didn't want it to, so I made an effort to forget and to move on.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Biting the bullet and moving on may sound easy, but I'm telling you, it's not. There were even many times when I wanted to seek revenge by cheating on him as well by finding my own person to have an emotional affair with.

    Other times, the feelings of pain would creep back in and it felt as if I really hated him for hurting me.

    But all of that is behind us now for the most part. I have changed for the better and so has he. We have a deeper relationship now and our marriage has become stronger because of what we were able to overcome as a couple. Indeed, there is hope after an emotional affair
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I've been married for seven years now. It happened to me a lil over a year now and i kinda suspected he had cheated..but i just recently found out that he did! God i was so hurt. But we were able to get past that and move on. It has made our relationship stronger.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Jun. 8, 2010

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