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My 3.5 yo wants to write... Am I wrong?

(refering to my other question: 3.5yr old beating herself up over not being a good writer!! ?? )

I am not pushy at all with my daughter, Im not a flashcards mom, we dont sit & do preschool. Learning is only in a fun way, and its 99% her asking for things. We buy education stuff yes, but its there for HER to show interest in.. She has plenty of other stuff to play with as well
This last week she said "look mom a B".. And she had a B wrote on her paper, I said "very good!" Shes became interested in writing. For the last 2 days unless she is doing something active or doing something with me, her next interested is trying to write..
She gets very frustrated with herself. It is normal for her personality to do this & get upset over what she cant do. (been told i was the same).
Am I wrong for letting her write? Should I really distract her to do something else?!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jun. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Let her pursue it if she wants to, I say. Just have conversations about how it takes a long time to master things for everyone and that frustration is normal but not to be too hard on herself because she will get better, etc, etc. You know, in kid terms. Focus praise statements on the fact that she is trying or that she enjoys making letters, not how good or bad her letters are.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:35 AM on Jun. 5, 2010



    (other post if you want to read why im so confused / upset)


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Is she in preschool yet? Are you planning on sending her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I don't understand how it would be wrong to let her write.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I would let her write especially if she is intrested in doing so, if she starts beating herself up about something just talk to her calmly and say it's ok  ______ your doing just fine, nobody writes perfect when they first start writing, etc. etc. just talk her through it and don't change her focus from learing to coloring or other stuff just work with her, she wouldn't want to write if she wasn't ready.


    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:35 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • In my humble opinion, I think you're not wrong to let her. It sounds like this is a personality trait that might cause her a lot of agony in the future, and it's better to learn to deal with it and help her through it than to avoid it. She sounds like a little perfectionist. I'm a bit that way, and unfortunately, it often keeps me from reaching my potential, because I'm overwhelmed by my big ideas and my fear of failure. Encourage her, find a way to teach her that making mistakes is not bad, it's all part of the process. Good luck, mama!

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:36 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Honestly the best gift you can give a child who gets frustrated easily is to teach them to read and write yourself before they enter kindergarten. This way she will be ahead of the game and not feel like shes struggling to keep up. Im a major perfectionist and I remember starting kindergarten and getting very upset because other kids were faster than I am. Once she can read and write on her own everything else will be much less of a struggle. You can make learning to read and write fun without bringing out the flashcards but be aware that most schools have sight word flashcards in kindergarten so its not a bad thing to introduce them early. She is getting frustrated and all that means is that you need to find a new way to teach her. If her B is tough try having her draw a circle, then a second circle underneath then lastly a line on the side. If you teach her to break down the lines of a letter she wont get upset as easily

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Cont. Anyway look at the letters and think of ways to break them down and teach her individually when she asks. Get her a placemat at Walmart for 1.00 with the letters on it so she'll be able to look at them and also use a dry erase marker to trace them. This will also help. Praise helps too Mama. I hope this comes across as helpful. I know its hard to tell tones online but I really do want to help. My son is 4 and is reading step 1 books on his own and this is how he learned. He began writing at about 3 so she is doing great

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • My daughter was about the same age when she started wanting to learn to write. I found printable sheets that had the letters in dot form so she could learn by following the dots. There is a website out there that you can enter a name or word adn it will put it in a practice sheet. I printed tons of them my daughter loved them. The dollar store also has workbooks that teach letters and practice writting. I think it is good for kids to do it if they show an interest, my sons were more into numbers than letters at 3 years, every child is different. I would encourage her and let her do it if thats what is making her happy. When she gets to school it will be a big help for her to already have some of it down especially if she can write her name. I taught my daughter her name, mom, dad,dog cat and then she went from there asking for other words. we also used post its on things like DOOR, WINDOW, SINK, BED etc she loved it.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:00 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • let her write if she wants to...nothing wrong with it.

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 2:51 AM on Jun. 5, 2010