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How can I be nice without coming off a bitch??

so about a month ago my friends house caught on fire and they had no where to stay so I let them stay in my home. Its just my friend and her two kids(2yrs n 6 months), which I thought would be pretty awesome since my hubz is always working, thought it would be good to have a room mate! Its been about 2 weeks and Im going nuts now. she lets the 2 year get away with everything, and she doesnt clean up after her kids, today i found a used pullup on the floor and the kitchen was a mess! I hate cleaning the house, leaving the house and when I comeback, its a mess! Im getting really disgusted with her 'lifestyle'. How can I say something without being a complete bitch? I'm tired of cleaning up after a slob. ehem.

 
CandieGirl09

Asked by CandieGirl09 at 3:17 AM on Jun. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (628 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • First, try telling her that your husband likes a clean home and ask her to clean up after herself. If she still doesn't get it then it's time to print out some classified ads and help her find a place she can rent. You could tell her that you are having family coming over and they need the room. At least it won't strain your friendship.
    LavenderRose10

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 3:33 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • You just need to say it. Explain to her that you love that she is staying with you and you want her to continue to stay there, but the house needs to stay clean. Just ask her politely to clean up after herself and help out with the daily chores. If you can't say it then blame it on your husband. Tell her he likes a clean house and would be upset if he saw what was going on.

    On a side note. Why do people do this? I allowed a friend stay with me while she was going through a divorce. She doesn't even have kids and couldn't find the time to pick up after herself. I was 7 months pregnant picking up after her. I never said anything and was happy when she left! I always see her as a piggy person now and I would never take anybody in ever again! She had her own room and barhroom and couldn't even clean it when she moved out! Sooo rude!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:26 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I have allowed my friend to stay with me and from the gate i told her that I was not her mother and she needed to clean up after herself and every saturday morning was deep clean house saturday. She was on it picking up after herself at all times. I am OCD neat and if I wake up and theres a spoon in my sink i flip my lid. So need less to say you need to sit her down and let her know that she needs to clean up after the chilren of hers and herself. You will not come off as a bitch to her if you just let her know before it get worse and you get mad. The more you allow it the worse it will get. Nip it in the butt NOW before you lose a friendship over a dirtyness.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I do not think you should make your husband into the fall guy.. Tell her flat out.. Why worry about being a bitch? She's kind of being a bitch by messing up your house..
    So remind her that this is YOUR house and you would appreciate it if she controlled her child, and picked up after herself..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 7:56 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I'd ask her what her plans are and when she'll be able to get her own place. She may be able to get on govt housing and get the Red Cross to get her to the top of the waiting list bc she lost her home to fire. It never hurts to ask. I'd tell her I've enjoyed having her hang with me but it's time to think of her own independence and privacy. No need to tell her she's a slob unless she stays then tell her she needs to help clean up after herself and her children.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:10 AM on Jun. 5, 2010