Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

HELP, Punishments that work? Any Suggestions???

I need some good sound constructive punishment ideas for my teen son that's 14 & has been actin up & doing some very naughty stuff. He told me that he doesn't think before he acts. Please only reply with Positive feedback. I've got him doing chores already & writing about what he's done. Any suggestions MOMS?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:40 AM on Jun. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • when my daughter started being the typicl teen not thinkiing before she acted, when she went any where I would have her tell me the pros of where she was going and doing and the cons, then I would remind her for every action there is a reaction and if she did something wrong what her punishment would be the hardest thing is to think of something they dont or wouldnt want to do my favorite was she would where clothes that I picked out or I would shave her head bald. yes it was extreme but I never had to do it just the threat kept her on her toes. this eventually lead to me telling her what I didnt want her doing before she left like NO drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, stealing, cussing, getting into anyones car,etc. shes made it to 18 so something worked, your son will start making better choices its frustrating as can be for parents just keep with what you say Good Luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Keep doing what your doing. Also you can sign him for sports it helps with self discipline and keep talking to him when my son was in activities it stopped him from getting in trouble.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:11 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • *Hi, & Thanks...He was in sports. Actually he was the star athlete on his team, until about 1 month ago. He suddenly didn't want to play anymore & I now know why. He starts back playing again in 3 days. Thanks Ladies for your input.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • sounds like you're on the right track. you can't save him from himself no matter how hard you try, though. sometimes the natural consequences are the best teachers - unfortunately the best way to learn is often from making our own painful mistakes, but it sounds like you're doing everything you can to help him address the problem he became aware of on his own - that is great that he has that self-awareness.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:10 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Not gonna tell you what to do - but I'll tell you what I did. Around our house the punishment always fit the crime - even if it took me a little time to come up with it. Examples - my oldest got busted picking on an "intellectually challenged" child on the bus - his punishment was 1 month volunteering for our local MHMR (Mental Health Mental Rehabilitation) Center - by the time he was done - he had a new understanding and a new patience for mentally handicapped persons. (my son was 12 at that time)

    When he was 14 we caught him drinking - he spent 6 months working with MADD - it worked. No more drinking.

    My other son got caught picking on the younger kids in ROTC - he spent the summer AND the next school year as an assistant to the drill instructor for the junior ROTC students.
    Both of my sons spent a summer working in a classroom at a Children's Ranch helping kids there learn to express themselves without anger.

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 9:13 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • P.S. I believe that when they hit older ages punishment (per se) don't always work - it's about them "Learning" and with teenagers it's take a lot longer to learn something then it did for them to commit the crime. Their punishment was that I MADE them get up and go - they learned on their own (thru the work I made them do) why and how their behavior contributed and what to do or not to do, how to act or not to act, what was acceptable and what was not. It's like picking on a mentally handicapped kid was 'funny at the moment' but once they were exposed to the challenges of the handicapped they learned for themselves that it wasn't funny - it was cruel, mean, immoral and just plain wrong.

    Good luck Momma - just stay with it.

    Answer by ItsNotSoBad at 9:18 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Um, OMG are you kidding me? Your son is 14 and you are just now thinking about punishing him? Maybe if you would have started with a swat on the butt way back when, he would now be respecting you and not getting into trouble. You moms crack me up.... TOO LATE HONEY. Your bed is made... lie in it. Discipline starts from the moment the child is old enough to understand.... 14... GOOD LUCK!


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Ya Know what, I swear I asked for positive feedback! Not that BS you wrote above. Thanks for nothing! Wow Bashing is that what you do Ms. Thang...LOL!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • take everything away from him. Phone, tv privileges, computer usages, etc.

    Tell him when he can act like an adult, and learn to respect things, he can have his privileges back one by one.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:45 AM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • LOL @anon :06

    hope you feel better now..

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.