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I was just accused of "depriving" my kids on Cafe Mom... this is a vent

because I... get this... *LIMIT* sweets and screen time??? My children are 3 years and 21 months and I said I don't regularly offer them candy or let them watch full-length movies (though the occasional 30 minute program I allow). I'm not sure I see how not giving kids things they don't need and should really not even have to know about is depriving them. The context of this comment was that I was expressing a little frustration that my mom, who watches my kids once a week, and who knows how I feel about these things, makes very little effort to keep them consistent, and that all the suckers and sweets before dinner and long shows that scare them (yes, even Disney can scare a just-barely-three year-old) do actually make our lives harder at home. The reply I got was, "maybe if you didn't deprive your kids, it wouldn't matter..." REALLY???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jun. 5, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (20)
  • AWW !

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Don't worry about, just a nasty CM mom wanting to be a b*tch! To each their own, if this is how you choose to raise your family, then so be it. If it works for you then great! Everyone has their own parenting style and what they want for their family. Sick of judgemental women on this site!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • She obviously doesnt have a problem "depriving" her children of imagination and good eating habits. dont let her judgemental ways get to you.

    Answer by renniemom3 at 1:16 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Yeah I agree with the others, you came across a full blown nut. Dust it off, and move on, forget about it. There are some moms out there right now on drugs, and their kids do not even see a hot meal. Tell her to marinate on that.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 1:18 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • You can't let what people say on here bother you. You raise your kids the way you see fit, and let others raise theirs the way they see fit. No one has the same views on everything, and someone is always going to disagree with you on something, and they will try to make drama out of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Hugs. I don't know why some moms feel the need to be hurtful or judgemental and make rude uncalled for comments on how others choose to parent their children. Personally I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing, and if it works for you that is all that matters.
    As for your mom, all you can do is ask her to please follow your guidelines- limit tv and sugar- but don't be surprised if she keeps on the way she is. If the kids are at your mom's house maybe you could find 1 or 2 movies (that the kids are ok with) and let her know you are ok with the kids seeing them, but not the others. Maybe you could make it a 'treat' for grandmas house? That way the kids know that it is something special and not for everyday at home. As for snacks can you take some treats (that you approve of) to your moms?

    Answer by MizLee at 1:27 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • some people don't know how to set limits or boundaries with others, including children. Those of us that know what we need and can express freely our convictions with wisdom and confidence,hope, then, they may listen...

    Answer by writeon at 1:46 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Just do what works for your family.

    Answer by Mommy2mj at 1:46 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I agree you ARE depriving your children.

    You are depriving them of brain rot and childhood obesity.  Some nerve you got lady!


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • You are doing a good job and don't let anyone try to make you feel bad or doubt yourself. It can be so difficlut raising kids and it just makes me so mad when posters here at CM get all judgemental and self righteous and even cruel when they post answers. It isn't right. Too many arrogant,conceited people out there....

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

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