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For submissive wives...if your DH wants to leave

Do you just let him, and start the divorce process, or do you tell him that you should try to work it out? What if he says he wants to get away for a few days, do you let him leave then, or do you try to talk him into staying and working on things?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Jun. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Im going to tell you straight up OP, Im offended with the submissive title of your post. What exactly is submissive anyway? I know for me that I was in an abusive relationship for 12 years, was I submissive or scared to death? Define for us exactly what being submissive is. By the way I did get out of that relationship with the help of law enforcement.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Thats a very strange post....

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Being submissive does not mean doormat. It does mean that you have a mind of your own and that your husband considers your opinion and feelings in every decision that he makes. However, it does come down to it being his decision. Now when it comes to the question that you are asking, the submissive wife does have the ability to fight for the marriage just as the husband does. if he needs some time on his own, he must also grant the wife the same courtesy.
    Submissive does not mean disrespected or abused, it means that the wife is comfortable with the husband being in control of the marriage, household, and decisions.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Anon :00, I'm not the OP, but I don't think she's talking about an abusive relationship. I believe she's referring to the women who willingly submit to their husbands. The ones that say that you should be do everything to make your husband happy without thought of yourself because by making him happy, you'll be happy, etc, etc, etc. The ones who tell you that you're a horrible wife that deserves to be cheated on if you're not having sex with your husband every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • OP here: Anon :00, no, I think you are misunderstanding. A submissive goes into the realtionship freely giving the decision making power to the spouse. I dont feel that anyone should be in an abusive relationship. I am sorry to have confused you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • My relationship with SO is my FIRST being submissive. I've never been submissive before but in this one it seems to work for us. What I have learned in allowing him to be the dom and in control means that HE has to keep things working. HE needs to fix things when they go awry. If he ever fails to do that then I either regain my dom status and take over or I leave. So far he's taken care of things. I do give him time alone to process and figure things out so him leaving for a few days isn't out of the ordinary. I like my time alone so it doesn't bother me. He's like a stray dog that I fed. He always comes back!

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:33 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • OP Here. Thanks admckenzie, that helps. I am just so afraid if he goes, he wont come back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Well I get the submissive part, I think if it is a healthy submissive as in you respect your husband and the position that he is in for your family, and in return he shows you respect.. now if it's submissive abusive.. well then let him leave.. or rather why hasnt the woman left yet.

    But as far as letting him go.. I posted a post last week asking how far was to far.. DH started an online relationship with someone, adn well now this week he is in the very same city with her.. mind you.. she;s just a "friend". Am I scared he'sgoing to come home and say he wants out.. hell yes, but I dn't think any woman deserves to be second by her husband. If you love someone .. then give it to them fully and completely. If he can't do that.. then let him go. He doesnt deserve you anyway.

    Answer by anonymous001 at 11:19 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I love the he's like a stray dog I fed he always comes back comment from admckenzie that made me laugh

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 11:33 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • This seems to be a good forum for my questions, so I hope that you don't mind me hijacking your question...

    We have been meeting with a bible study lady and last weeks topic was submitting to my husband, BUT what if he basically refuses to take control? I am not sure that I would be happy because if things stayed the same, then I would not put either myself or our children in a responsible position? How does this all work?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

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