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should i be mad or happy about this?

last night my daughter who is about to be 16 had a bonfire at our house, and about 20-30 kids showed up. me and my husband checked on everything to make sure there was no drinking/smoking going on, and (to our knowledge) everything was okay. towards the end of the night as more people were leaving, i saw my daughter on our hammock with another boy who has been a good friend of hers for about 3 years now making out! it wasn't like super passionate like they were about to have sex or anything, i was small and sweet (even though they were kissing for about 10 minutes), like it was their first kiss. My question was should i be mad...? i feel like i should, but i couldnt think of 1 real reason to be. idk, its just a shock to see one of your children doing something like that when in your mind, theyre still little kids haha. on the other hand, (i think) he's a nice kid...for a teenage boy and its cute there "together"

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Jun. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • You shouldn't be mad. Just give her all the information she needs so she doesn't end up pregnant or with an STD. She's growing up, and it's normal!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • No I don't think you should be mad about it. Its not like it was some random boy you've never even heard of or anything and its just kissing. It'd be different if they were like dry humping or like groping eachother. If you haven't had "the talk" with her in awhile, maybe you should again, but I see nothing wrong with what she was doing. Its unrealistic to think your 16 year old isn't going to be kissing a boy she likes. Even though I know its probably gross and weird to think about it.

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:34 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • I have a 17 dd and yes I would be mad! Where the hell was the bonfire at? My best logical thinking as a fellow mom of a teen is, why didnt she ask first? K..She had all these kids over at your house, without your permission? Oh hell no! How the heck did you watch dd make out with a boy for 10 minutes on a hammock without saying anything? First it would gross me out to watch dd making out with a boy on MY hammock, on my property. Those replying, do you have teen dd's? Do you even know what this is like? I have had this kid for 17 yrs and I have an amazing kid who would never do crap like this,,,thank God, but if she did,,oh hell no,,,not on my property. Ok,, Im breathing again for your question, yes you have every reason to be mad

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • she is just growing up, nothing wrong with that...

    think of it this way, would you have wanted your mother to be mad at you for that?

    it normal, dont worry.....just talk and make sure she is informed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Mad? no Happy? Not sure but accepting works for me. She's with a nice guy and they were not being vulgar about it. That shows respect. It's part of life. It sounds like she's a nice young lady. She could have been out behind a shrub getting nasty. Now THAT would make me mad!

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:45 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • You should be happy, maybe this is your future son in law! Or at least the baby daddy

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • Those responding that all is good,,,DO NOT HAVE TEENS,,you guys have no idea what you are talking about sitting there with your babies in your laps,,,just wait!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • all i know.. my brother had a bonfire [NOTHING compared to yours, they had weed, and it was during a drought in our backyard] my father threatening to call the cop and kick my brother out. he knew we were in a drought, he knew a single fire can burn the house down and whatnot.. the bonfire was in our backyard and we have trees.
    i'ld be mad in your situation, then again not.. not mad because you know you kept an eye to make sure no hokey pokey was happening.. but mad that the girl kissed a boy on the hammock for 10 minutes.did you see them before this happened while checking up on them? you never know what happened, there were 20-30 ppl there as you said.
    time to have a talk

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 11:53 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • No, i dont think you should be mad at all. shes going to be an adult in 2 years first of all, you have to let her grow up eventually, having a boyfriend and having your first kiss is a normal and exciting part of life. its not something thats shameful and bad. like a PP said, this might be your future son in law. plus, you want your daughter to trust you anyway. if you go flipping out on her, she wont trust you, and she will just hide things from you. i think with mothers and daughters, although you are her parent and you need to be her parent, eventually you get to an age where you can really be best friends with eachother, and women together. at least thats what happened with me and my mom.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2010

  • oh and about the part of if you should be happy about this. I remember when i was 12 and i started dating my first boyfriend, he wrote me a note in school to ask me out, and i came home that day and told my mom and she was kind of happy, you know, not happy but excited to be sharing a moment like that with her daughter. and yes that was my first kiss. my mom used to bring us with out friends to the mall so we could go ice skating and go to the movies. it was fun. nothing wrong with it.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:00 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

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