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I just found out that my husband has been bad mouthing about me at his work...

I am so hurt right now. We are going through a rough time right now and I know that I have my faults but he has his too. And I certainly don't go to work and bad mouth him. I have more respect for him than that. Yes, I may talk with a friend to seek advice but that is not what he is doing. I am so hurt that he doesn't have any respect for me anymore. I have already tried to talk with him about it, but it didn't help. Any advice on what to do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Yikes! That is a violation of trust on his part! I understand that during marriage you get frustrated, but saying bad things about you is out of line! I'd let him know how you feel about this and that if doesn't stop there will be consequences, but you have to decide what those are. I would be livid with my dh if he ever did this.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Are you sure it's malicious 'bad-mouthing' and not him just venting? Sometimes men don't have friends they feel they can confide personal stuff so they vent to a co-worker or other acquaintance.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:47 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I could understand if he was telling one, maybe two people, but he has been telling his whole shift, especially one lady who has been telling him that he needs to leave me. Occasionally, we go out for breakfast on Saturdays with his co-workers, but I am too ashamed to now, because I have no idea what he has been telling them.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • leave him first.... idk
    mirit.rose

    Answer by mirit.rose at 1:01 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • well do you think your marriage is worth saving? if so try counseling or trying to resolve the issue at hand. if you don't think your marriage is worth saving then leave him. maybe the lady who has been telling him to leave has feelings for him. some women will do anything to get a man. keep an eye on her. my so's ex says crap about me and tells him to leave me. so i know how it feels. good luck.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 1:33 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • He's probably just venting at anyone who will listen. Or maybe his boss or co-workers sensed his problems at work and they wormed it out of him. I wouldn't worry. Everyone has problems at one time or another. Who cares what his co-workers think. They're not your co-workers. Besides after time goes by, they will see you two have a strong relationship that can pull through the tough times. Who doesn't respect that alone? It will be okay. Stop worrying about what other people think. At least your husband is getting steam of his chest, and perhaps getting some advice on how to deal. If he didn't love you, he would have left already. Don't worry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:48 AM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Personally, I don't think talking about your personal problems at work is ever a good thing. Especially to someone of the opposite sex! I'm curious how you know he's been talking about you, did he tell you what others were saying about the problems? Was it in frustration or was he really saying bad things about you.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Austinsmom35, I found out when I saw an aquaintance the other day at the grocery store. Her husband is my husband's boss and he told her what was being said about me, so she told me. I asked him about it, to make sure that it wasn't just a misunderstanding and he freely admitting that he said those things.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:21 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Yikes! That is a violation of trust on his part! I understand that during marriage you get frustrated, but saying bad things about you is out of line! I'd let him know how you feel about this and that if doesn't stop there will be consequences, but you have to decide what those are. I would be livid with my dh if he ever did this.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Yikes! That is a violation of trust on his part! I understand that during marriage you get frustrated, but saying bad things about you is out of line! I'd let him know how you feel about this and that if doesn't stop there will be consequences, but you have to decide what those are. I would be livid with my dh if he ever did this.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:29 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

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