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My step-son continuously tries to say hurtful things to me. We get him for summers and every other holiday since his mom moved so far away. I think it would be better if we got to see him more often but Bio-mom says they aren't moving back any time soon. We have joint custody but because we are in Wyoming and over 350 miles away from our son we only get him for summers basically. Is there anything we can do legally to get him more often?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • Thats something you will have to ask a lawyer and probably have to go to court over. Chances are, since there is such a huge distance and he's in school you're getting about as much as you're going to get him. Anymore at it starts interfering with his school.

    Answer by AngeLnChainZ at 1:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Can you drive there like once a month or every other month to visit him and do things with him? That would probably be the only way to get more time with him.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:24 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I dont understand the relationship between ur 1st statment which is "he always hurt u"and ur question?

    Answer by Imane1215 at 1:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Talk to the lawyer/court that gave you the arrangement you have now.
    Ditto imane1215 ..

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:49 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I think OP thinks more time with them would help with their relationship and result in less hurtful comments.

    What about holidays throughout the year? Bday every other year? Etc?

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Since he lives so far away how much more often do you want to see him? I had to go stay with my dad in another state during the summers when I was growing up and I hated it. It ripped me from all my friends and there were no kids for me to hang with where he lived. I was miserable. I sure wouldn't want to have had to go visit more often. If he is trying to say hurtful things to you and not dad, I'd see what the problem was there. Are you controlling or trying to force him to do things he doesn't want to do? Are you trying to act like his "mom"? These kids go through a lot emotionally and that transition from one home to the other isn't easy. I wouldn't be trying any tough love with him in such a vulnerable stage of his life. Just be supportive and let him spend time alone with dad. He may see you as hoarding dad. I'd ask him if he even wants to come more often.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:57 AM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • First, the hurtful comments have got to stop. I say you and your dh have a long talk about this. You guys need to speak to him together and let him know that, first, it will NOT be tolerated. At all.

    Second, find out *why* he feels he has to say hurtful things.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 12:46 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

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