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Can someone tell me to suck it up?

I haven't had a break from my toddler for 6 weeks. I work full-time, and my husband works so much he only comes home to sleep. When I come home my kid won't leave me alone for 5 minutes. My house is destroyed because as soon as I get one room clean he's behind me pulling everything out again. As we speak he is crawling over my arms as I'm typing. I'm turning into a horrible mom where all I want to do it yell and keep asking him if he wants another nap. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and feel so stressed I'm going to throw up. I just want a minute of peace. My closest baby sitter is 3 hours away. I know single moms and army moms deal with this all the time. I'm ready for a breakdown....can you tell me to suck it up or tell me that you hit breakdowns too? I'm going under anon because I'm feeling like such a baby.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:32 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I see you got a lot of mixed answers. I couldn't imagine having 6 kids LOL There are days I would love to go to work, because to some it is less stressful than home. I worked in daycare while in college and see the benefits. I do take my babies to a playgroup I organized once a week, Wed night church group and Sunday chuch, so they are around others. Plus the ocassional visits with friends and family. Anyways, remember you are only getting a few hours a day at home and try to make it more fun. They are going to throw food, dump food, dump toys, have accidents, it's all part of the process. And the tantrums are was one of those mornings for us. I was ready to scream, but it's nap time and here I sit and destress LOL When you are driving home from work think of something fun to do. Try to maybe get a routine. While making dinner give the kids bowls, utensils, crackers and let them "cook" on the floor. Then....

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 2:36 PM on Jun. 7, 2010

  • If your husband is working a bunch, is there a way you two could cut back and budget so you could stay at home? Your attitude isn't fair to your child, but you know that that is why you posted this cry for help. Something has got to give. Hopefully you could find a way to stay home, if not maybe you could at least cut back on your hours.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:39 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I don't know. My daughter is a single mom of a 5 and 2 year old. She is absolutely exhausted most of the time. I would tell you not to worry about what your house looks like right now. At some point, you will find time to clean and enjoy your time again. Right now, however, your focus is on raising those children. If I were you, though, I would make sure that your husband eventually finds time to help. I mean, he found time to make the children, didn't he?!


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • prioritize, your well being and your child's come before all else. the dishes can wait so can cleaning the bathroom, I agree with the pp's try and cut your hours down at work and see what unnessisaries can go, GL, sleep as much as possible and talk to your husband about it

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 3:48 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • My husband is gone a lot, for military work. For the time being we are close to my relatives, that doesn't mean that I get a lot of breaks. My parents have their own lives and I don't dump my kids off there when I want a break. Once a week at midweek bible study, my mom does take care of them in the nursery for an hour, that's my big night off LOL. Mine are 21 and 8 months. If you are working full time, try not to worry so much about the house. His toys are going to be everywhere, if the floors, toilets, and beds are clean, don't stress about clutter. Your hormones are in overdrive too. There are many times through the day where I just want to tell my oldest to shut up while he is screaming or having a tantrum. Some days are better than others. You just have to decide what is worth stressing over, what really needs to be done and what do you just want done. Make sense? When they are teens we may wish for these days back!!

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 3:51 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • suck it up

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I hear that Blondebabies. I have a co-worker with 2 teenagers and it makes me feel lucky sometimes not to deal with that yet. As for cutting back hours at work. Hell no. That is my only break. I love my job and feel the most stressed when I'm at home. I also think my son will be better off at Daycare when he can play outside with other kids all day. I can manage things at work, too much to manage at home...make sense? I've talked to my husbad, he gave me a 2 hour nap today and cancelled our day trip to do work at cabin we upkeep, but we are stuck right now. We need to pay off a lot of bills before this baby comes so I don't have to get help from the state and I would kill to have a house someday and this is the only way to try to provide. Everything is cut as far back as it can be (except I allow myself cravings every now and then), even the internet I'm on right now is free wireless. I wonder if I'm even cut out to be a mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Anon 3:40 - It didn't take him THAT long to make the child. ;)

    Anon 5:02 - Thanks

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I'm sorry hunny, Remember it does get easier. We are a military family, we are away from our friends and family right now and DH is away for training....It's me and our 6 children, ages 6, 5, 4, 2, 1, and 3 weeks. Trust me I have my days where I want to pull my hair out. Is there any activity you can engage your toddler in? Can you budget more and switch to part time work instead of full time? Everyone tells me not to worry about cleaning house, to just let it be a day or two, but I can't.... I get the demons in my head telling me I have to clean before the mess get worse. I went through everything we own, and put a bunch of it away to declutter our home some. It has helped alot. In the evenings when you lay your little one down for bed, take a relaxing bath instead of trying to pick up the disarray from the day. I know dinner time can be a rush, try simple croc pot meals.

    Answer by TemptMagick7 at 5:20 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • That's what I needed Tempt. 6 children and you are still kickin. I'm thinking about getting rid of half the things in my house. I "engaged" my child in legos which gave me a half hour of peace....but now can't see my livingroom floor. Then he came over to give me kisses. Mommy's kisses can make everything better, but so can baby's kisses.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Jun. 6, 2010