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My 36 year old son still lives with me, what should I do?

He never had a job, doesn't care about anything. Doesn't want to help. And things that everything is given to him. But he is still my baby....

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Ronnie165

Asked by Ronnie165 at 3:56 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (47)
  • that's why he's never had a job cause YOU didn't teach him responsibility and to be an adult. you babied him and handed everything to him and now he's one of those guys that lives with their moms. you need to give him a dose of reality and force him to get a job and a place and NO backing down even if he fails. it's your fault this happened
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • screw that! tell him to get a job and get the f out of your house! he doesnt care because you never gave him a reason to. if mom does everything for him why should he care?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • What happens when you get married or God forbid something happens and you can't provide for yourself (and him)? You are not doing him any favors by allowing him to be irresponsible. Tell him to get a job. Make him pay half the bills. It's not like he'll leave you. He will still be getting a bargain and I'm guessing you still cook and clean for him. I'd stop that as well. Teach him to be a responsible adult.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:02 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Looks like you'll have a caregiver in your old age. That's a job in it's self.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • My son is 19 and we had to put him out we set a time and he had to be out by then and he was.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Are you kidding me?!? He doesn't care about anything because you've always given him everything and don't expect him to work for it!! He's 36 and doesn't have a job? That is absolutely pathetic. Either stop giving him everything and make him get a job and move out, or quit complaining, because you made him this way. You have only yourself to blame. His hiney would have either gone to college or gotten a job when he was 18 if he was my son. He wouldn't have been allowed to freeload in my house.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 4:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • wow...i moved out when i was 19. had a job, was in college, and took care of myself. didn't you teach your son any values? you should have forced him to get a job when he was 16 and taught him to WANT more for himself other than mooching off mommy
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 4:08 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • What is it you expect of him if you do not sit down and tell him what you expect he will never have any reason to move out. So now you will have to say what you want sit him down and ask him what he wants for himself and where he sees himself in five years. GL Momma

    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:08 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • AMEN Bethsunshine!!!
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 4:09 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • you need to have a serious talk with him. tell him you want to help him be independent but he has to help himself. give him a deadline to get a job, if you have to make him a chore list, and let him know you expect him to pay part of the bills as soon as he gets a job. make sure he takes you serious. if you have to, threaten to kick him out. at that age he should know how to take care of himself and other people if need be. keep in mind that when it's all said and done he will be a better, stronger person, because you made him that way. he is NOT a baby anymore, he is almost middle aged.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 4:21 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

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