Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i want to adopt my niece from my brother and his gf...but i don't think that the gf's mother is going to allow it,what can i do?

i'm wanting to adopt my niece from my brother and his gf,but the gf's mother isn't going to allow it.i want to adopt her because i feel like me and my husband can provide for her better,i buy all the things she needs now anyways.neither of them work,the gf gets a ss check every month which is spent on rent for a nasty trailer that has no a/c,stove,or refridgerator!the baby stays sick all the time,shes dirty every time i get her.she'll be two next month,and i'm just needing some advice on what i should do!Please Help

Answer Question
 
jackie342

Asked by jackie342 at 4:03 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • that is a hard one hun. There is a lot of legal to deal with
    WonderWoman1979

    Answer by WonderWoman1979 at 4:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Have your brother and his gf agreed? If so there's nothing her mother can do about it unless the gf is under 18 and unable to enter into a legal contract.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 4:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Well, the first question would be, Does you brother and his GF really want to give up there child? If not, then they only way you could even possibly adopt is if she is taken away and even then, they will give the parents a lot of time to get their act together before they think about adopting her out.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • You can't just adopt someone bc you don't like how the parents rear them. If you think there is a problem then call CPS. You may be able to foster the child but not necessarily adopt her.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:09 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Unless your bro and his GF have agreed to give up their rights and let you adopt, you can't just go around adopting a child. And if they HAVE said that they will give up their rights to you, the GFs mother can't do anything about it because she has no legal responsibility for the child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:32 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • The first step would be calling CPS to prove that they can not meet all of the child's needs. If that is proven they will take your niece and then you may step in and offer to foster her. They will then come and meet you, run a background check on everyone in your household, and inspect your home. You will have to answer many questions about finances, time, etc. and then they MAY choose to place her with you. If she is placed with you, you may pursue adoption but only if your brother and his gf do not improve their life enough to take care of her. (They will be given a set amount of time to make whatever changes need to be made). It is a long and hard process but if you believe she will be better off with you it may be worth it.
    imamommmmyyy

    Answer by imamommmmyyy at 4:51 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Like everyone has said... Have your brother and the child's mother agreed to this? Is the girlfriend over the age of 18? Or is her mother just pressuring her to not sign? (If so, make sure you work something out so she can regularly visit the parents and grandmother)
    If they haven't agreed to adoption... have you brought it up? If you have and they refused, and you seriously feel this is just unfit circumstances, call CPS/DFS/CDS (whatever you have in your state) and report.

    If they take her into state custody you MIGHT be able to gain custody. It would be a long battle though, especially if someone else (like the grandmother) tries to get custody. And her being taken into state custody doesn't mean the parents can't get her back. Only if their parental rights are terminated, or if they just don't want her.
    Gaining custody, even getting her as a temporary foster placement, is a loooong process. It doesn't always happen.
    MrsAdorkable

    Answer by MrsAdorkable at 5:28 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • If your brother and his girlfriend agree to give their daughter up for adoption than you can adopt her; whether or not the grandmother can interfere depends on which state you live in. Where I live grandparents have legal rights to their grandchildren and hypothetically if I were to give my children up for adoption my mother can petition the court for custody and adopt them herself. If your state does not grant specific legal rights to grandparents then there is nothing she can do if her daughter and your brother sign over their parental rights. If your brother and his girlfriend are not willing to give up their child the only thing you can do is contact CPS and if they decide to remove the child than you can become her foster mother but until your brother and his girlfriend either give up their rights or the court terminates their rights you won't be able to officially adopt her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I would talk to your brother and his GF and see if the would allow you to. If they do then there is nothing her mom could do about it. If not Call CPS and try to get her removed then petition to be a foster parent.
    Nicole_2007

    Answer by Nicole_2007 at 7:00 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • its not that they don't want to,her mother has alot of influence on her and what goes on. Her mother doesn't like my brother because he doesn't work,my brother and his gf are slow mentally both kinda act like children themselves,except my brother has alil common sense where as she doesn't. I don't know about calling dhr on them because i don't want to hurt them,and the babys not in any danger,i'm not trying to just go around and adopt peoples children!If that were the case then i would try to adopt my oldest nieces sons,she has 2 kids and doing it on her own.They cant do it with 1 child and 2 parents in the home.
    jackie342

    Answer by jackie342 at 10:45 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN