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Any Advice for a newly single mom of three young children?

I am in the process of getting a divorce from an butthole of a husband/father. Any tips on becoming organized and any routines that work best for you guys?

Thank you

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would love to hear some answers too b/c I might be in the same position
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Well, first of all- do you have a job? Do you have a house? Do your kids go to school? Do you have any family/trusted sitters around? Have you told the kids about the divorce?
    pipermomofash

    Answer by pipermomofash at 6:13 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • i've been officially divorced since january... but we were separated since sept 2008. it WILL be hard... not going to lie. many MANY tears... some from my girls, too. you have to learn how to juggle so much more, and still be brave enough to take kiddos out. stick with as much of the same stuff that you did while still with their father. you don't want to change too much. bed time stays the same, rules stay the same... make sure to brave it and take them out to eat. i would recommend someplace that is very kid friendly, but still sit down (no mcdonalds... the first place i went with my girls was ny pizza... booth and all!) this gives you a chance to see where you need to stand firm. i was scared to death to do this... i had taken them so many places, but out to eat was always something that at least SOMEONE went with us. i made a list of chores and things to be done before they went to daycare, and we all did them together...
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 6:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • at night, before bed, we do this again... but this is mostly just a clean up at the end of the day kind of thing. FIND A SITTER! this should be the first thing for you to do. i JUST found a sitter officially. i had to rely on my family and him for anything i needed to do. if you have an official sitter, its so much easier. with a set rate, too.
    gracefulsky

    Answer by gracefulsky at 6:19 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Yes, I have a job. I have an apartment, Have a car. Yes, I have a sitter temp. Looking into getting some sort of assistance in paying for child care so my girls. My son is going into 4th grade.... No none of the kids know at this point. We are trying to keep it between us. Since the girls are 1 and 4 and my son is about to be 10... My son is not a bio child to my husband.

    OP here ^
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I got an au pair. HUGE help and only $120 a week. She works for 6 hours a day and helps around with housework. Consider that. You have to tell your kids no matter how young they are. Try not to change their schedule at all after their dad is gone and treat them exactly the same as you did before the divorce. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I have been a single parent for 7 yrs. my kids where 11 and 9 when we got divorced. There was much upheaval in our lives due to the fact that we lost the house. So not only did my kids loose the parent structure. They lost their house, bedrooms, backyard, neighborhood, school and all their friends. We had to move to a tiny apt in another area. It was really hard in the beginning, I wont lie. But, we made it. Trials make you stronger in life. We got really, really close as a family too. Dad does the weekend thing, well actually he does one overnight on every other Saturday night. Has been that way for years. Like someone else said, keep the schedule to as close as normal. You guys are going to be ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I have been in your shoes. A few things that helped me. Try to establish a cordial and maybe eventually a friendly relationship with your ex. I found that this lead to better results with the kids and when they are teens it will help to have that father figure. Also don't talk bad about the ex. It's not the kids fault whatever happened and they deserve to have a bond with dad. Other than that establish some regular things like movie night, game night, etc. Keep consist rules and don't let them bend them. As a single mom it is harder because it will be one of you against them instead of two parents in the house. Be a parent first.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:40 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

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