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Need advice on what to do with my husband ...

I dont know how to deal with him anymore. Before we got married, before we had kids, we decided that until the kids were in school I was going to be a SAHM. He mkaes more money that he did then ( we are not in need or anything like that, we have a house and car, etc), but then everytime he gets into a bad mood he goes on and on about how I need a job that I need to figure out what to do, etc.

A few months ago I got tired of him always saying this, so I started babysitting 2 other kids ( we also have 2) . Of course he found reasons why he needed that money, but then after a couple weeks he kept bugging me about quitting because he said our kids wasnt getting enough attention, and that we didnt need that money anyways. I was happy to do it because i was so tired everynight, because I had to clean & cook double, even though I was technically working too ( more hours than him) he still couldnt lift a finger at home.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • So now he is complaining that he might lose his job ( which he says that everytime he gets into the mood) .... and that i need to start looking for a job..... but yet I know if I do get one, it will be like before.... we have no one to watch our kids, we live in a small town ( which means I would have to drive out of town to find a job)... but he is the driver of our 1 car... and I know when I come home I would still need to do ALL of the cleaning and ALL of the cooking.... I feel like telling him if I got a job, what would I need him around for then
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • tell him to make up his damn mind!!
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 7:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I'm guessing he wouldn't be willing to pick up the slack at home if you work away from home. Lay it on the line and tell him what would be expected of him.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I have told him over and over... if I work then he needs to share the work at home.... he says he works harder than I do /would so he doesnt have to ( he works a job where he sits at a desk....he gets as mnay breaks that he wants, including an hour long lunch break) and is aloud constant internet access)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • If nothing else seems to work, tell him he ain't getting any sex until he shapes up. LOL And stick to it. haha
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • Make a list of all the things that you do during the day from the time you get up in the morning until you go to sleep at night. Shove it under his nose and tell him, "Do this for one week and then tell me that you work harder than me." Then shove the list up his rump and tell him to quit his bitching.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • LOL, love the last 2 anon answers. :) I realize he probably works hard (even cubicle jobs can be emotionally stressful) but he doesn't realize all the work that entails being a SAHM and he's taking it for granted and just wants to b****. :(
    my2luvbugs

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 7:39 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • I know how this story goes even though I have a job and I go to school I still have to come home and clean the house and do yard work. Lately I have been taking my time doing it sit down and tell him you work just as hard as he does and he should participate in taking care of the kids and house as well. Mine always says that but he sits behind a desk and sometimes has to drive a van? GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:45 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • sounds like your husband is stressed out. Men handle stress in different ways. My husband tells me my job interferes with our family time. He tells me to quit my job. I then tell him that my salary affords us several nice things we have around our house. Such as my hobbies. Does he want us to live with out them? Heck no. He wants me to be happy and have a nice life but it is a huge amount of stress on the guy.
    Men have to work hard make the money to keep us comfortable. Sometimes that stress gets to them. Have a nice quiet glass of wine calm him down and find a way to communicate and solve the problem. Is there really a problem with his work? If there is perhaps he really does want you to have a job. If there is not then you need to find another way to communicate.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:52 PM on Jun. 6, 2010

  • sounds like he is trying to have some control there .... tell him to make up his mind , or better yet let him know YOU WILL DECIDE WHEN AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO WORK ....I think he just wonts to control and he shouldnt be throwing that in your face everytime he gets mad thats plain bull .... !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Jun. 15, 2010

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